The Wild Falcon
by Dark Master Schmidt
Summary: Coauthored with my buddy Nuvares. Alterverse. Genma falls into the Spring of Drowned Sumo Pig, and Ranma into the Spring of Drowned Falcon. Without knowing the curse is not permanent, Ranma flies off away from Genma and ends up befriending prince Herb.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer:

**Nuvares:** I disclaim anything you think I own in this fic, other than the idea... and my pen-name... and the story itself... but the characters I don't own.

**Dark Master Schmidt:** I, too, own nothing. Except for the plot, which I share with my buddy here.

"..." Chinese.

"(...)" Japanese.

'...' Thoughts.

The Wild Falcon

By

Dark Master Schmidt

& Nuvares

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Chapter 1: Lost Falcon

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"BWEEEEEEEEI!" The six-foot pig screeched as it landed in front of the unmoving boy who was staring at it in wonder as the water washed down its skin. The giant... pig had come out of the pool where his father had fallen into, its weight bending the bamboo pole but surprisingly not breaking it.

"(P-pop? POP?! What's going on? Where are you?)" The boy yelled around ignoring the pig; said pig was looking at the boy strangely as he wondered what was going on. Shaking his head, he yelled at the boy to quit being stupid and that he would teach him to ignore his father.

"BWEEEI! Bweeei bwei bweei! BWEEEEEEEEEEEEEI!" The giant pig flew through the air at the boy who deftly dodged the attack and rebounded off the pig's head and onto another pole. It was too bad for the boy that the bamboo was so strong, it flung the off-balanced pig back at the boy's pole knocking it out from under him and depositing him into a pool while the pig rolled onto dry land.

"(Oh, no, sirs! You fall in Spring of Drowned Sumo Pig!)" He pointed at the over-grown pig. "(Tragic story of Sumo pig drown here five-thousand year ago. And you, young sir, fall in Spring of Drowned Peregrine Falcon,)" he then turned to where the young man had fallen. "(Tragic story of peregrine falcon who fall in spring one-thousand three-hundred year ago.)" The guide walked off as the pig finally looked at itself and started after the guide with intent on beating the crap out of the portly man when he heard a loud screech behind him. Turning to see a sopping wet falcon dragging itself out of the pools, he grabbed the guide and helped him up to his face.

"BWEEEI BWEEEI BWEI BWEEI BWEI!" he squealed into the guides face while the guide gagged on the pig's horrible breath. "BWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEI!" the pig squealed as talons dug into the skin on its back, tearing through muscle and fat as it took off from its perch to fly off into the mountains.

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"HIYAA!" Shampoo yelled as she finally caught Towel in the solar plexus with one of her bonbouri and sent the larger woman off the log they were balanced on. She was proud with herself, she was so proud of herself she was almost preening under the on looking of her fellow amazons and especially her great grandmother Cologne. Walking over to the large display of food that was her prize, along with the fact that she was the village champion. Looking at the table, she grabbed a cooked rabbit and held it aloft to show her victory and with that, a cheer arose among the amazons as they started forward for the ritual feast, celebrating the one who had won the annual tournament.

Ranma flew overhead, dipping a bit as his energy waned, he needed food and the exhilaration had turned into depression as he accepted his fate to be a bird the rest of his life. He was hungry and depressed, but he was still a Saotome, and so when he saw a girl holding up what looked like food, he dived at the chance, literally. Folding his wings back, he went from a majestically soaring bird of prey to a brick in under a second.

The exhilaration was back as his speed increased, pulling his wings in more, he went even faster. The ground shooting up to slap him in the face, but he wasn't paying any attention to the ground just to the food being held aloft to the cheers of the women. A few more feet, and it was his. Screeching a victory, he flared his wings and raked his talons into the meat as he flapped to gain altitude with his stolen prize. Something was yelled and the cheering stopped but he had his food. Lifting enough that no one could reach him, he started off over the enclosing mountaintops to eat and find a way home. Wherever "home" was.

The screech sounded, and it was already too late as everyone looked at the blur that stole the rabbit from Shampoo's hand, reaching quicker than their champion who had been shocked by the flash of feathers she has seen as the bird that was now flying away with her food. Her fellow amazons picked up their weapons and some with ranged weapons took shots at the bird, which either missed their mark or the bird somehow dodged until it was too high to reach with weapons and they watched as it flew over the mountains.

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Lord Herb was practising as his instructors ordered him to do, his physical abilities already the best in the kingdom of the Musk even though only 17. He was the heir to the Musk and as such had to be the best there could ever be. But, being the best had its price, he was lonely for a companion; a friend who didn't care who his father was or what empire he was heir to, but for who he was as a person. Sure Mint and Lime were his 'friends,' but even they kept their distance and rarely did more than their bodyguard duties. Finishing his kata, he walked out onto the balcony of his room and stared over the lands, which his people controlled. Watching the natural beauty of the area and felt at peace, turning to go back in, he stopped as something caught his peripheral. There was a bird out there doing tricks, flying high to loop and dive and spin at the speeds that made the bird what seemed to him the fastest in the world and it seemed to be approaching the palace. Watching captivated as the bird performed its feats of agility, he was surprised then it landed on the balcony's rim, staring at him as he was at it.

"And who are you now?" asked the prince as he held up his hands in a sign of non-hostile intention and watched as the bird also moved its wings up in a similar manner.

Ranma simply stared at the young man before him. He didn't think he would find someone here. Normally, he'd notice such small matters, but after filling his small tummy up and the fact that he wasn't used to so much flying and trying out what people would call tricks, he was quite tired and thought he'd rest his tired wings a bit.

Trying something out, Herb carefully held his arm out and motioned for the bird to land on his appendage. As if the falcon knew what he wanted, it lifted off the railing and landed on his arm, and gripped tight with its claws to his arm, the nails digging in and drawing blood, but he made no sound. Enthralled in the bird, he carefully reached around and stroked its head a bit but stopped when it seemed annoyed and snaps at his hand. "Fine, then, wild bird, if you want it that way, then so you shall be. Huäng Yïng, the wild falcon." He started walking inside when the bird let go and flapped his wings to land back on the railing. Ranma wasn't that trusting yet.

---------

The next day Herb was doing forms in his room when he heard a screech and the sound of scraping, turning to the balcony, he saw Huäng Yïng perched there watching him in his kata. Finishing up the movements the bird watched him intently as if it knew the meanings of the motions.

"Now aren't you a smart one?" the bird just cocked its head as if trying to understand the boy. It did understand the amused tone in the young prince's voice and ruffled its feathers at the boy before taking off to do some flips and dived turning at precise turns and almost suicide drops moving as if in a kata of his own. Herb sat there enchanted by the display of speed and precision. Landing again the bird started to preen a bit at the stunned look it saw.

Showed him. Huäng Yïng thought as he finished, and sat back as Herb started another kata, this one full of speed over power, which seemed to be a unary objective of his previous training. Maybe there's hope for him yet.

"PRINCE HERB! Time for your training!" the boy stopped and turned to the door sighing a bit.

"I'll be back, Huäng Yïng, and then we can practice together." He bowed slightly and left the room. Huäng Yïng sat on the balcony for a second and flew off to find something to eat.

---------

Shampoo stood on the challenge log going through her own training when Huäng Yïng flew overhead. Her form showing more grace and precision than the robust forms of the Musk. Recognizing her as the girl who held the rabbit up for him, he dropped lower to watch. When he was only a few dozen feet over her head, he opened his mouth and screeched loudly at the girl. If he had lips they would be rolled back in a smile and he would be laughing his head off as he watched her start and fall off the giant log of theirs. In a flash, she was up and shouting at him while running. Dropping lower, he made a 180-degree bank and flew at her face. Startled by this move, she ducked the talons only to have him snatch his prize, one of her gold hair bands and flew down the main avenue of the village.

"GIVE THAT BACK, BIRD!" she yelled taking off again after him.

As if! Huäng Yïng was having the time of his life, dodging this way and that as he slowed down enough for Shampoo to take swipes at him. When she almost clipped him on one lucky swing, the mirth ended and he flaps a few times to gain a bit of altitude. Feeling some heat to his right, be banked into it and felt the thermal lift him up into the sky, carrying his golden prize with him.

'Hmm, maybe next time I'll try for the other one.' He continued to fly off towards the tree outside that kid's room in where he slept.

---------

Herb looked out his window as Huäng Yïng returned to the tree he slept in, Herb had been watching it since he noticed the bird there at nights, but tonight, the falcon wasn't there and it was getting almost too dark to fly by. As he started to worry, he heard the screech and saw his friend land on the branch carrying something in his talon that shined in the candle light of his room.

'I wonder what that is?' He stepped out onto the balcony to see if he could get a better view but missed his chance when Huäng Yïng put the thing inside a small hollow in the tree's trunk. 'Perhaps I can find out tomorrow.' He turned and went to bed, waiting for the next day to come.

---------

'Damn sun!' Huäng Yïng mentally yelled as if it would matter, but it didn't. In the past few months, his falcon body would wake at first light when it was the best time for hunting; too bad he was never hungry in the morning. Herb almost always fed him and he found it a lot nicer than a mouse or a gopher.

'Time for Prince Boy to wake up.' With that, he dropped from the branch, spread his wings and soared towards the balcony of the young boy. 'Okay, Herb, wakey wakey!' Or at least that was his intended sentence. "SCREEEEEEEEEECH!!!" was the result.

"Uuuug... morning, Huäng Yïng," Herb groaned a bit more awake than the day before at the same time when the bird had done the same performance. There was a plus to it, even if he would have preferred it otherwise, his instructors were praising his initiative to wake early and train. Even if they didn't oversee his training regimine.

"Ready, Yïng?" he asked standing up and moved into an aggressive stance, at the birds affirming sound he moved to the large open area in his room and waited. With a screech, the bird launched itself at him, flying around him in a largely intricate pattern brushing him with feathers or a talon every so often. Herb's job was to dodge or block the improvised attacks, and even a light strike every so often. Herb loved the morning ritual the two had started, even his instructors commented on his speed increase and had started on his first ki training abilities.

"Screech!" and with that, the dance ended as Huäng Yïng landed lightly on his shoulder. Chirping a bit as he preened some feathers that had become loose out of his back.

"You're getting better at dodging my attacks," Herb commented and got a comment in return, even if he couldn't understand it or expected the bird to understand him. Little did he know that the mind behind the bird's guise was slowly but surely learning Mandarin from the prince, Musk and Amazons. One of which he visited daily to have some fun with.

"Screech" he sounded while making motions that he was going to leave.

"I'll see you later tonight, train again?" he smiled at the bird as it appeared to nod and then fly off out his balcony as the first instructor banged heavily on his door. "Coming, Gensing."

"How do you wake up so early every day when the lights in your room don't extinguish until late at night..."

---------

"SHAMPOO! I'll help protect your treasures from the demon bird that looks to insult you!" Mousse yelled at the top of his lungs. Racing towards the village champion as she ate some meat that was skewered on a stick like a shishkabob.

"Be quiet, you stupid buffoon!" she hissed at him, "I'm using this food to try and capture the little devil once and for all, and after we find where it's taken my things, I'll skin it and be rid of it!" She smirked confident in her plan when her hand felt oddly lighter and she heard the same screech that had almost haunted her for every day since the village tournament. "Stupid Mousse! You made me fail!" she yelled bashing him before running after the damned bird which was flying towards the gate.

"SCREEEEEEEECH!" he yelled, passing over the guards at close to 50 miles per hour holding today's prize in his talons as he heard the girl following him. He was having so much fun that he didn't notice that he'd come close to the place of springs. The ancient training ground that had made him what he was. Banking sharply, he started up the mountain side the girl following right on his tailfeathers. Flying into the trees, he perched on a high branch and started eating his prize lunch while the girl looked for him below. 'She's only going to find trees and undergrowth if she continues to look like that.' he mused as he finished up, 'I wonder if I can get it down her shirt?' he pondered looking at the stick he was now holding. 'Lets try!' he dropped from the branch and swooped over Shampoo dropping the stick silently so that it fell and dropped down the back of her shirt as she hunched over to try and preserve stealth. The scream of frustration reached across the entire valley as the girl frustratingly tried to remove the offending piece of wood that had gotten lodged in some fabric just under her shoulderblades. Huäng Yïng laughed in his head as he flew away listening to the frustrated sounds of the Amazon girl.

--------

He was in a good mood when he swooped into Herb's class, landing on a tree bordering the plateau they were training on. He watched as Herb stood in front of a pile of round stones no larger than a marble. Looking on in wonder, he waited for something to happen.

"Qian pu nù!!!" Herb yelled and his hands blurred as the teacher watched the progress. In under 5 seconds, the large pile of at least a couple hundred stones were gone, relocated to the edge of the plateau looking as if thrown by the prince.

'Holy crap... Wonder if I can learn that? he thought trying to think up a way to do it in falcon form. Then stopped thinking as the instructor started talking.

"Not good enough!" the instructor roared. "You need to half that time or else you're useless. Only 538 stones a second, disgraceful! There are Amazon girls that are faster than that, and are you worse than an Amazon?" he admonished the boy.

"NO!" Herb replied walking over to the pile. "NO AMAZON CAN BEAT THE MUSK!" he yelled starting the technique again this time moving the stones back to the original pile and position. This time he did the entire pile in about 4 seconds. Still not good enough for the instructor. And so Herb did it again, and again till he was almost dropping unconscious from ki exhaustion when he finally had it in less than 2 seconds.

"HHRUMPH! that better have improved by the next time you have me or you're never going to leave my class." And then walked off leaving the boy to rest there beside the pile that he had earlier sought to dismantle.

"Screech!" Huäng Yïng said as he floated down to the boy landing on his shoulder. "Screech!" he looked at Herb oddly before smacking him upside the head with a wing. "Screech!"

Herb smiled at the gesture. "You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were human." Which gave Herb an odd thought of the cursed springs, but dismissed it, he didn't want to turn his friend into his wife.

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Genma grumbled as he sipped his soup. He was tired and his body hurt all over, especially his back; searching for that son of his was a pain in the neck. Just where could he have run off to? Or flown off to, to be exact? Despite having the ability to fly, he couldn't have gone too far, or could he? And he probably didn't even know that the curse is reversible, which meant he was stuck as a bird for now. This would make finding the boy much harder; he couldn't just go hunting for countless falcons and splash hot water on them, that would take ages, unless falcons weren't too common around these parts, which seemed unlikely.

Shortly before discovering his over-grown cursed form was reversible, he had accidentally crushed his and Ranma's backpacks. Without any supplies, he wouldn't be able to stay in China much longer. Of course, stealing some would be easy for him, which would be his next mission after finding Ranma. Fortunately, the guide had been kind enough to let him stay at his house. Genma then stared at the guide for a moment. He was sitting-cross legged in front of him on the floor and sipping his own hot soup. He wouldn't know of some good locations to search for his son, would he? He'd been searching all by himself up until now, the guide surely would be of good use.

"(Say,)" Genma started. "(Do you know of a good place to look for my son?)"

"(Hmm...)" The guide faced Genma for a moment as he wondered. "(You not ask in Amazon village yet, yes?)"

"(Amazon village?)"

"(Yes, Amazon village is warrior tribe with 3000 year of history. They no far from here, they might know something of young sir, yes?)"

"(Yes, they might be helpful. Better than nothing, I guess.)"

"(Good. I show you way first thing tomorrow morning.)"

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"I'll get him today," Shampoo schemed, as she looked over the mountains waiting for her nemesis to show up. The other amazons that seen her shook their heads, an amazon being beaten by a dumb bird, multiple times even was just disgraceful even if a few were starting to wonder if it was an ordinary falcon. A few hours passed and Shampoo sat on the roof bored out of her mind waiting for her enemy to appear. "HURRY UP, YOU STUPID BIRD!" she screamed in frustration. Meanwhile Huäng Yïng sat in a tree on one of the mountains laughing in his head as he watched the girl sit there screaming at nothing.

'Nah, maybe not today, it's getting dark.' Albeit he'd been there since noon and it was a riot every hour as the girl became more and more flustered. 'Guess its time to get back, maybe it's time to give up on her, my little stash has every trinket she owns.' He then flew off back towards the Musk palace to see what his friend was doing.

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Herb was climbing a tree, not just any tree but Huäng Yïng's tree, the one where he stored the things he brought back from wherever he went. Reaching to the branch, he looked towards the trunk to find a small hollow brimming with oddly shaped objects.

"Now what would this be?" he wondered out loud reaching in to remove a small tubular thing, it had a bit of heft to it for such a small item and as he brought it out of the hole the shimmer of gold was revealed in the small torch he had with him. "So the bird likes shiny objects. I wonder where this comes from?" The only people he's heard to wear such intricate items are the amazons... He wouldn't, would he?" Herb put the object back and decided to perform an investigation, was Huäng Yïng a spy or a pet.

---------

Huäng Yïng left out his balcony and he continued to train for about ten seconds before he followed the bird out his balcony window. Flip jump twist flip flip jump dodge the people, jump flip jump jump dash jump stop.

'Where did he go?' Herb thought when he heard the screech from in front of him and watched Huäng Yïng tear down and grab a field mouse. 'Is he hungry? I thought he ate enough...' Herb continued to follow the bird as it didn't eat the catch but carried it with it towards the amazon village. 'What is he doing?'

Jump dash flip flip dash jump jump flip jump dash. He suddenly came to a stop as the ground fell out before him, down the cliff he saw the village of the women, but Huäng Yïng was nowhere to be seen. Slowly making his way down the mountain, careful to no be seen so as not be attacked, he saw a girl standing on a giant log that was suspended on both sides by poles stuck out of the ground and he froze. Like most all of the Musk he had never seen a girl before and he slipped and landed roughly groaning a bit before sitting up and looking at the village again. He could still see the thing that held him amazed. There was a girl, the other half of the species and she was standing there practicing the amazon wushu. She was beautiful to him as she did what her village trained her to do, and Herb found he couldn't move. Someone could have poked him right there and he would have fallen over but never have taken his eyes off of that being in front of him. After a few minutes, he was able to pull himself together and remember his true objective for coming here, where was Huäng Yïng?

As if on cue, the bird dropped below the cloud line moving at well over 100 mph, a speed that made the peregrine falcon known as the fastest bird on the earth, dropping fast it screeched hard causing the girl to turn around with an evil smile as she produced a net from nowhere and tried to snare the bird. The momentum of Huäng Yïng sent both tumbling to the ground but not before he had skillfully dropped the mouse he was carrying down the front of her shirt. The performance could only be described as comical as he watched the girl shriek and dance as she tried to get the offending rodent out of her shirt as it ran around scared out of its life.

The rest of the villagers took the opportunity to turn the girl into the laughing stock of the community.

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"Shampoo... there is something odd about that bird." Cologne spoke with her great-granddaughter at the end of the day. "It seems too smart, precise in how it does things. Almost human."

"What do you think great-grandmother?" Shampoo was almost worried that it had to do with the bird-people. "Is it the Phoenix?"

"It may be that the Phoenix and the God-King Saffron speak to the bird and tell it what they want it to do, but I'm worried that the intelligence that the bird itself is displaying is more than that it should have. There is only one thing that could cause that. Jusenkyo." As the old woman finished her statement a loud shout was heard from outside.

"(WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW!!!)" a yell that only few amazons would understand as it was in Japanese. But Cologne understood it.

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To be continued...

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Authors' notes:

**Nuvares:** Huäng is wild and Yïng is falcon; for those who know any form of the Chinese language this might be wrong to you I just used an online translator at Quan qu pu means like thousand strike fist or something like that. once again i don't speak chinese.

Anyway send C&C to and i'll make sure to reply like i always do. flames will get a nice e-mail bomb back courtecy of the canadian electronic postal service.

**Dark Master Schmidt:** Now ain't this fun?! Let's see what happens to Ranma's life now!! Insert pathetic attempt at an evil laugh here

Oh yeah, your comments mean a lot to us. If not for them, we would not improve; and with improvement, we would make you, the reader, find this story even more enjoyable.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer:

**Dark Master Schmidt:** I don't own Ranma; if I did, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction. The only thing I own is the story, which is not entirely mine, either, anyway...

**Nuvares:** Yeah, what he said.

"..." Chinese.

"(...)" Japanese.

'...' Thoughts.

The Wild Falcon

By

Dark Master Schmidt

& Nuvares

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Chapter 2: Love Sucker

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A lone figure stood wearily at the Chinese legendary training grounds of Jusenkyo. It became clear that once taking a closer look, that this figure belonged to a young youth, whom was 17 at most with absurdly long bangs that were kept away from his eyes by a black-spotted yellow bandanna. He wore disheveled clothes of a long-sleeved yellow shirt, dark green pants, which were tied with laces at the bottom of his legs, and a pair of Kung Fu shoes. He also looked like he was going to collapse at any second.

He groaned as he looked around with his half-sleep eyes. He had made it, he had finally made it; or at least he thought he made it. Even though he hated to admit it, he couldn't be too sure his current location with his blasted sense of direction. "(Now where's that bastard, Saotome?)" he asked weakly. This should be the right place, he figured; this place's appearance fit what the farmer he met a few days ago perfectly. Sure, the farmer was pissed off beyond belief when he asked him about the Saotomes, but he didn't think he'd fool him about where they could be headed. On the other hand, some people just couldn't be trusted these days... He could have sent him off to a horrible place for all he knew. Of course, this Jusenkyo place was just a few kilometres away, but with his sense of direction, the poor boy kept on travelling for 4 full days without even sitting down, let alone have any sleep, in order to catch up, which lead to the state he was in now. Ryouga was obsessed; there was no way he would let that bastard run away without finishing their duel. "(Ranma, I, Ryouga, would hunt you down to the ends of the earth!)" he cried into the heavens, or at least tried to, but it only came out as another weak mumble. God, was he tired! He couldn't even stand properly!

Ryouga began to shakily walk towards one of those stupid countless springs, stumbling as he went along. He needed to wash some of this sleep out of his face, he couldn't think straight and his vision was starting to get all foggy; or was that the weather? He couldn't tell anymore. Stopping in front of a spring, he stared at his reflection. He looked like crap. There were some leaves stuck on his hair, his clothes were dirty and disheveled, and his bandanna was a bit off, covering his left eye. How couldn't he notice that one earlier? Oh well, things would get a little bit clearer for him with this water anyway.

"Can I help you, young sir?" a voice suddenly spoke.

Startled, he spun around in quick motion only to catch a glimpse of a fat Chinese man before tripping clumsily and falling into the spring just behind him.

Stunned, the Chinese man, the guide of Jusenkyo, could only stare with saucer wide eyes at the young man as he struggled along with his huge pack. Who could blame him, though? For the first time in his entire career as a guide and watcher of Jusenkyo has he actually been responsible for cursing a person. "Oh, dear..."

Coughing out water out of his lungs, Ryouga finally dragged himself out of the spring after discarding his pack and glared daggers at the Chinese man. "Don't do that!" he shouted angrily at him in his absurdly horrible Chinese, which he picked up recently. He voice sounded a bit funny, and his back seemed heavier for some reason, but he ignored them, thinking it was his lack of sleep acting up.

Coming back to his senses, the guide bowed deeply to the young man. "I'm so sorry!! I'm so sorry!!" he repeated a few dozen of times, looking actually scared.

Now it was Ryouga's turn to be stunned. He wasn't even that angry with the man.

"I'm so sorry for giving you this curse!" He almost seemed like he was about to burst into tears to Ryouga.

"What hell you talk about?" He scratched the back of his head, confused, and looked down at himself. Was it just him, or was his chest 'extending' a little bit? "(The hell?)" He shook his head, trying to focus. Damn! He couldn't even see things properly anymore!

"Y-you don't know?" The guide started to sweat. Heavily, too.

"I not know what?" Ryouga blinked a few times. Damn it! He was seeing two Chinese guys now! He rubbed his own eyes, which didn't help at all.

"Jusenkyo is a cursed place, young sir! Falling into the springs gives you a cursed body!" He tried to explain.

"Say what?" Almost ignoring the poor guide, he dragged his wet pack out of the spring and dropping it with a loud thud. "You stop joking around, uncle, I tired enough." He rubbed his eyes again and muttered in Japanese "(Hell, I even see two of you right now!)" As he said this, the guide began to actually split into three people. Ryouga groaned for the tenth time this day. Boy, this wasn't his day. What day was ever his day, for that matter?

"Young sir, you mean you don't notice the change in your voice, or, more importantly, your body?" The guide was amazed at this guy's obliviousness. He couldn't be serious, was he a fool or something? Maybe he could get away with this mess after all?

"Huh?" Ryouga said intelligently. "You mean I is wrong in eyes?" Looking at his blurry hands, he gave it his all to concentrate. Well, his hands did seem more... slender? Shifting his eyes to his chest again, he found them the same as a few seconds ago. Curious, he began to feel it. "(WHAT THE HELL?!!)" He jumped fully awake, the shock switching him back to Japanese. He began to feel what he believed an even more important part. He, or perhaps, 'she' started to freak out with her face turning bright red. Whether it was from embarrassment or anger was totally unknown to the guide. "(IT'S GONE!!)" she yelled, grabbing at the arch between her legs. "(IT'S GONE!!!)" Her cries shook all of Jusenkyo and probably all nearby villages as well. She started at the guide. "(What the HELL is going on?!)" she asked in frustration, completely forgetting all about the previous explanation by the guide; hell, she didn't even care to speak in proper grammar now. She sank to her knees with a look for horror on her face, and her body started to shake.

Of fear of his life, the guide was too scared to reply. He simply pointed behind her, indicating her back.

Amazingly, she knew what the guide was trying to point out and looked turned her head behind her slowly, as if it were the end of the world. She couldn't help but notice a huge pair of slightly reddish black wings extending out of her back. This was too much; she couldn't take it anymore. Ryouga literally started crying and promptly fainted afterwards.

"This is not good..." The guide felt like fainting himself, he couldn't believe he was the cause of all of this. Never in his life has he done something so disgraceful. His father would turn in his grave. Feeling guilt, the guide dragged off his unwanted visitor back to his house.

---

The guide smoked his pipe as he watched the morning sun rise from over the horizon, the bright sunlight giving him some warmth. Under normal circumstances, he would think of this as nothing but another beautiful day, but today was different. He turned with a grimaced face at the bed just next to him. The boy had been sleeping soundly ever since the incident a day ago.

After some groans, he slightly opened his eyes.

"(Oh, young sir, you awake?)" The guide gritted his teeth as he went to stand next to the boy.

Ryouga sat up on his bed and nodded while rubbing some sleep out of his eyes. "(Y-yeah, I had the weirdest dream...)" As he finished this, he lunged at the guide and crushed him in a hug, sending them both to the ground. "(It was awful!)" he cried. "(I was following Saotome, and then... and then... I got turned into some female freak!" He continued to burst into tears.

"(Young sir!)" The guide struggled for some air. "(It not dream! Please calm down!)"

"(Huh?)" Upon hearing this, Ryouga looked at who he was exactly talking to. "(GAH!!!)" Letting go, he stumbled backwards and until he hit his head into the wall. "(Y-you're not my mum!!)" He pointed at him.

"(Well... no,)" he replied lamely, gasping for some oxygen.

"(Huh? Wait, you're...)" Recognising him as the man from the day before, Ryouga panicked and started examining himself. However, everything seemed normal this time. He gave a sigh of relief; maybe he was hallucinating after all?

"(Let me explain,-)" the guide said suddenly. "(I think young sir is confused, yes?)"

Ryouga started to worry. "(Explain what?)"

"(Curse, what else?)"

Ryouga grimaced. "(Y-you mean that was real?)"

"(Yes,)" he answered. "(Curse is very real.)" He wore a serious face.

"(Then why am I back to normal?)" he asked.

"(Spring give you new shape when you touch spring water. But, curse form is not permanent,)" Ryouga brightened at this; could he be cured? "(Curse can be temporarily cured with hot water.)"

"(Temporarily?)" That didn't sound good for Ryouga.

"(Yes, hot water fix curse, but when you touch cold water, you get curse again.)" The guide tried his best to explain. He was having a rough time, too; his Japanese didn't help, and the boy's Chinese was probably worse... Looking at Ryouga's disbelieving look, he continued, "(I show you.)" And with that, the guide stood, went and returned with a glass of water. "(Take.)" He handed it to Ryouga, who just stared at it. "(Pour on self and you change to curse form.)"

Ryouga didn't know what to do; he was too scared to see if anything would happen. Despite clearly knowing what happened last time, he didn't want to believe it. 'No,' he thought. 'I'll have to get through this, if I don't, I'll be scared of cold water forever.' Typically, Ryouga didn't think that he'd hate cold water anyway... Closing his eyes, he poured the contents of the glass on top of his head, and tried to ignore the shock and feeling of losing and gaining some parts of his body. The sound of tearing clothes was heard as Ryouga felt his back gain some weight.

"(This is...)" She stared at her new pair of shaking hands.

Swallowing, the guide went and sat in front of the shivering girl. "(You see, you fall in Spring of Drowned Phoenix Girl; tragic story of phoenix girl who drown in there 2500 year ago.)" He shifted his eyes towards the girl's gaze and gave a small smile. "9You a little lucky, no? Most bird people no have human hands nor feet.)" He gave a nervous laugh and tried to cheer her up, though he didn't seem to succeed.

"(Mmm...)" Ryouga seemed to ignore the elder man and kept gazing at her hands. Why? Why did this have to happen to her? What did she do to deserve a fate such as this one? Didn't God have any mercy upon her lost soul? Did he hate her?! This was... this was all Ranma's fault! She gave a small growl, her depression suddenly turned into anger. Yes! It had to be, she wouldn't be here in the first place if it weren't for that bastard! "(Damn you, Saotome!!)" She growled loudly and punched the ground, causing the floor to crack. "(I'm going to... _kill_ you!!)"

The guide jump back in freight at her outburst. A pissed off cursed martial artist was bad news. "(I-I go bring hot water, y-yes?)" He didn't bother waiting for an answer and dashed off to another room.

Ryouga gasped for breath as she watched Chinese man hurry off somewhere. "(Whatever.)" She was starting to feel a bit better after the outburst. Just a little, though. She stood and looked around, trying to shrug off the annoying feeling of having wings, she must look absurd having them... Ironically, the first thing she managed to spot in the small room was mirror on the wall, and started debating with herself whether to use it or not. "(Ah, what the hell.)" Finally coming to a decision, she walked and faced it. The second she did, she wished she hadn't; for it made her face twist in utter disgust.

"(Ugh, Kami-sama...)" She looked at her reflection. She was awful. She was a man's worst nightmare. She was disturbingly gorgeous!! Not to mention also outraged... The midnight black hair she had, those round sparkling brown eyes, her silky smooth skin that's just begging to be touched... and those damn petite lips! She was more beautiful than any girl she has ever seen! Very sickening, indeed! She was an abomination. She sank into her knees screaming and gasping for air. She felt like vomiting.

"(G-God! Do you hate me?!)" She started pulling on her hair. Luckily, she was too shocked to put any real strength into those arms of hers. "(I can't believe I'm actually sexually attracted to myself!! Why must you torment me so?!)"

As she kept ranting about how much life sucked, the guide took a peak inside the room. The guide gulped. Was this a bad time?

"(Why can't I be ugly?! Or at least plain-looking, god damn it?!)" She continued to weep loudly with her face buried into the floor.

The guide started to sweat heavily and raised a steaming kettle in one hand. "(Young sir, I bring hot wa-YAAHH!!)" He didn't even get the chance to complete his sentence before the kettle got snatched in an instant. He took a quick glance at his hand before switching to the currently male and human cursed traveller.

Ryouga breathed heavily for several moments. "(I missed you...)" He sobbed as he took a peak inside his pants.

The guide sweatdropped, as he rightfully should. Of all the exaggerated reactions to the Jusenkyo curses he had seen, this guy took the flipping cake! This dangerous psycho was obviously suffering from too many mental problems. He should have stranded him at some deserted place when he had the chance! Nobody would probably miss him, anyway...

The thoughts of the temporarily joy for Ryouga and the regret the guide had would've went on if weren't for the sound of Ryouga's rumbling stomach.

"(Ugh, damn. I just remembered that I haven't ate much for days.)"

"(Young sir hungry?)" he asked the obvious.

However, before he could get an answer, the door loudly flung open, startling them both.

"Papa, I have brought you food!" cheerfully exclaimed the little girl at the door way, as if on cue. She had her hair done in twin pigtails and held several plastic bags, which sent an irresistible aroma to Ryouga's nose.

"Plum!" the guide yelled, announcing her name, "How many times do I have to tell you to knock?! This is improper!"

"But... but..." she searched for an excuse. "But if I don't hurry, the food will get cold! You don't want that, right?" She shook the bags lightly while her father simply sighed. "Oh, I see that our honourable guest is finally awake," she continued after noticing Ryouga. "(I am Plum, daughter of the guide of the legendary Jusenkyo. Please join us, honourable guest. There is enough for you,)" she said in Japanese. Amazingly, her Japanese seemed better than her father's. She still had a weird accent, though.

"(Sure,)" Ryouga couldn't refuse. He was too hungry to pass up a decent meal.

The guide looked like he was about to protest, but he said nothing.

"(Excellent. Please wait a moment as I get everything ready, honourable guest.)"

Ryouga nodded as she bowed and ran off to another room to, what he assumed, get dishes and whatnot. Time seemed to pass like a blur to him by then; the food got served, and he shamelessly stuffed his face like a starving lone lion within his den. For a while, he was content, but of course, that cannot continue. On his third dish, he began to choke on his food.

"(Aiya! Honourable guest, hold on while I bring you water!)" Plum picked up his cup and dashed to fill it up in haste. It only took her a few seconds to return in a rush. She was careful as not to drop his cup. "(Here is your water, hono- oomph!)" Too bad she wasn't careful enough, though, for she has tripped, sending Ryouga's water flying and landing on the poor boy's head.

The combined shock of the hit and his curse caused him to somehow spit out his food. "(Aw, not again...)" Ryouga groaned. He didn't think he'd ever get used to this.

Plum was stunned at the transformation. She figured Ryouga had a curse since almost all the ignorant strangers to Jusenkyo ended up with one, but this was... "(Aiya! So beautiful!)" she exclaimed brightly and bounced in front the stressed cursed winged girl. "(May I see, honourable guest...?)" Without much warning, she held Ryouga's stern face for a clear look. "(Beautiful...)" she murmured as she rubbed her own face with Ryouga's. She smelled so nice. "(I wish to be like you when I grow up,)" she giggled.

"(Argh!)" This was simply fabulous; even little girls look up to her now. And what the hell was she doing?! "(Aww, let go of me, will you?)" Ryouga felt like crying again; men weren't supposed to get such treatment, were they? She tried to push Plum away lightly, but she held a strong grip.

"(Please, just a bit more,)" she struggled with Ryouga's attempts, causing her torn up shirt to fall slightly off.

"(Crap!)" Letting one hand go of Plum, she managed to stop her shirt from going any further, but it still made it possible to see a long line of her cleavage. This was so humiliating. Ryouga hasn't been more embarrassed in her entire life!

"(Wow, big ones, yet so nicely shaped,)" she said in complete admiration, and shifted her rubbing from her face to her breasts, sending an alien sensation through Ryouga's body.

Ryouga almost facefaulted. "(What the _hell_ are you doing?!!)" Her face was completely red in embarrassment. In an attempt to fix the situation, she turned in to the guide, who she just then noticed was drooling with a blush. "(You sicko!)" She managed to hurl at his face one of the many empty dishes she devoured earlier. "(So you're just a perverted bastard! What kind of crap have you been teaching your own daughter?!)"

The hit seemed to bring the guide back to his senses as he began to stutter. "(Young sir, don't misunderstand! I married man! I would never do such things!!)" He himself hadn't known what came over him.

"(Meh, whatever. Just get your kid off of me!)"

The guide didn't need to be told, he was about to do just that. "Plum! Look at yourself! Have you no shame? Let go of our guest this instant!" he yelled angrily.

And it worked; one glance at his outraged face made her stop. "(My apologies, honoured guest. I got carried away.)" She bowed deeply. It was as if she was another person now.

Ryouga was still pissed off, however. Who wouldn't be? She was surrounded by freaks in a freaky place. She needed to get out of here before she got infected with something. Oh, wait; she already had! And it was... all Ranma's fault! Everything up to now was his fault! On the subject of Ranma, she had a bill to deliver to that bastard, and Ryouga had no intention of wasting time here. "(Excuse me,)" she tried to calm herself a bit. "(I think I need to leave now; I have things that I need to do.)"

"(What?!)" Plum was surprised, had her actions upset her that much? It would be a shame to let this beau—she shook her head—their guest, leave like this. "(But honou- mmph!)" she got her mouth cut off by her father's hand.

"(Yes, yes. Young sir must be very busy, no?)" the guide resisted the urge to grin. "(I put young sir things over there,)" he pointed towards the exit, where Ryouga's pack lay, next to the door.

Ryouga turned around. "(Where?)"

"(No! Opposite direction!)" the guide cried.

Turning around again, she spotted her pack. "(Oh...)" she blushed a bit. Picking it up, Ryouga bowed slightly to the two. "(Thanks for everything. Goodbye.)" She then turned to leave. 'Perverted sickos.'

"(Goodbye!)" he yelled joyously as he watched her close the door behind her. 'Crazy Japanese.'

---

Time passed like a breeze when it was needed. Two days have passed and Ryouga still hadn't even found a sign of the Saotome boy. Only after getting lost from Jusenkyo had Ryouga remembered to ask the guide about Ranma.

The glaring hot rays of the afternoon sun showed the cursed traveller no mercy. Ryouga held a book in hand—entitled "Chinese for Dummies"—as she walked aimlessly without bothering to check her current location; she wouldn't know even if she tried. The last two days have been hell, just like any other day, but slightly worse this time. She still hadn't gotten used to having a female body; it felt awkward just walking around like this, and practising martial arts was harder, all thanks to those disturbingly humongous boobs and wings she carried around. So she had to focus on balance training. Ryouga decided that the best way to get used to it was to stay in her cursed form for a while; who knew what lied ahead awaiting her, she didn't want some stupid curse to get in her way. With some basic sewing skills that she picked up on the road, she had to 'modify' some of her shirts to let her wings move around freely without making a mess. Then there was the problem of carrying her pack, which forced her to carry it with her hands.

"The dog then started to-" she growled a bit. "(How the hell do you read this character?)" Her Chinese was starting to improve, that was what she thought. She didn't get lost in China very much, so she never had a reason to pick up the language before. The writing system of the language was even more annoying. And Ryouga thought learning kanji was bad in his younger years; this was worse. Sighing, she closed the book and looked around. "(Huh? Weren't I in some empty field just a few minutes ago? Weird...)" She seemed to be in a mountainous area. She was lost, how typical.

---

Chen leaned upon his spear as he sulked. "Man, guard duty is boring!! Why can't anything exciting happen?" The young phoenix was annoyed.

"Would you shut up for at least 5 minutes? We're not enjoying this, either, you know," another young man yelled. "Seriously, you're starting to piss me off."

"No, you shut up, Shui! I can whine as much as I damn want!" He smirked. "It's just that I'd rather be with a girl than put up with your ugly face."

"Oh, yeah? Well, this 'ugly' fellow here has your beloved angel up his grasp."

"Yeah, right. You wish."

"Quiet you two," a male voice spoke, causing the two quarrelling guards to look behind them. Another man was sitting next to the village's gate. He appeared to be in his mid-late twenties. "You are making a ruckus. You do not wish to face Kiima's wrath again, do you?" A strange smile drew itself on his handsome face.

"F-fine, fine! I'll shut up!" Chen nearly yelled.

"Yeah, guard duty is so much better than that..." Shui shuddered.

"Besides," the older phoenix added. "Someone seems to be approaching." He looked sharply behind the two.

The young phoenix warriors turned in on their heels on only to be stunned at what lay before them. A young phoenix girl with dazzling beauty was walking at a safe distance. She didn't' seem to take notice of them yet.

"W-w-w-w-whoaaa!!" Chen pointed with his shaking arm. "I must have _her_!!"

"Quiet!" Shui grabbed his companion by the neck. "She'll hear us!" he whispered in his ear and continued to give their goddess of mystery his full attention. "Chen," Shui locked his friend's neck with his arm and dragged him closer. "Check out that magnificent body! It's like a dream come true!" He squealed.

Chen started to feel some hot pressure at his nose. "Yeah, and those jugs! Makes you wanna touch them! Ahh!" He began to fantasise.

"Those boobs..." Shui drooled as he stared at her bouncing breasts. "They're definitely E cups." Shui's comment snapped Chen out of his fantasies.

"Eh? Are you crazy? They're F cups without a doubt!" Chen argued. "I mean, look at that perfect shape!" He also began to drool at that point.

"Actually," the older man interjected as he stood, gaining the attention of the two goons. "Despite the amazingly attractive shape, the size is probably 32G. However, this is merely speculation on my end, so I could be wrong."

"Liang, how would you know that?!" Chen asked.

"You could say it is from experience... She is not wearing a bra, either, by the way."

"Wow," the two expressed their awe in unison. They have started seeing the older man in a new light. "Liang, you're so awesome!" They clapped their hands in admiration.

Of course, none of them knew what they were actually talking about.

Liang just sighed at those hopeless fools. Have he stooped to their level? More importantly, who was that woman? He didn't recall seeing her before. With such an appearance, she should at least stand out a bit than other women in the tribe. How odd...

"That's it! I gotta ask her out!" Chen yelled out and rushed towards her.

"Hey, wai-" Shui earned a kick to his face from Chen, sending him landing on his butt.

"Sorry, buddy! I'm first!"

"Why, that little..." Shui rubbed his face.

"Do not worry," Liang assured. "She will reject him. A woman like her should have high standards. It would be impossible for her to fall prey for that fool's charms."

"Gee, you sure know a lot about this stuff."

They started to sweat as the watched Chen earn a punch from the girl in question. Chen began to run away towards them in fear of the umbrella she was swinging around.

"Guys, hel- UMPH!!" She threw her umbrella on his head, knocking him out.

"That pervert!" She growled.

"Heh, looks like you were the ugly one after all." Shui smirked. Looking at her, his smirk widened. Feeling fear of the pervert, she must need some comfort to ease her mind. It was time for Shui's charms to steal this beauty's heart.

Liang only sighed. He knew perfectly well what was on Shui's mind.

"Excuse me, madam." He put every effort he could muster to seduce the girl. "I am- UMPH!!" Before he could even finish, he was knocked out by a single punch to the face.

The girl watched him as he fell on top other moron. "Idiot."

"Ahem." Liang announced his presence, causing the girl to take a defensive stance. "Ah, do not be alarmed. I apologise for what these fools have caused you."

The girl seemed to calm a bit and lowered her guard. He didn't seem to be dangerous... or a pervert.

"I am Liang. What is your name?"

She was a bit hesitant, but answered him anyway. "...Ryouga."

"Ryouga?" He was surprised. "Is that not a Japanese name?"

"Yes, it is," she answered with a heavy accent.

Liang crossed his arms. "(Your Chinese is not too great, either, is it? You are not from our tribe, are you?)" he asked in Japanese.

Ryouga was confused and somewhat surprised. What was he talking about? Just then, she noticed his huge wings, similar to her own. Looking at the two morons that she knocked out again, she realised they had wings, too. Was she so angry as not to notice an important thing? These guys couldn't be... He had better make something up before he got into some sort of trouble. "(W-well, a-actually, my father took me to Japan since I was little, so I don't know much Chinese,)" Ryouga blurted out without much thought.

"(I see.)" Liang didn't ask any further. "(In any case, would you come into the village? You must be tired.)"

"(Uh, well, I... still need to look for my dad, so...)" She hastily grabbed her umbrella and dashed away. "(Later!)"

"Strange indeed." This was amusing him. She was indeed beautiful, but she was also a terrible liar. Young girls seem to grow well these days...

Chen decided at that moment to interrupt Liang's train of thought with his atrocious moaning. "Yeah, baby, I wanna bury my face into your beautiful tits," he mumbled in his sleep as he started licking and rubbing his face against Shui's balls, who was lying on top of Chen.

"Yeah, my darling, you can touch me there all you want," Shui moaned in ecstasy and searched for his darling's private parts.

Liang facefaulted. "Those incompetent fools." He shook his head in utter disgust.

---

Leaning upon a mop, Plum sighed inwardly as she stared blankly at the clouds in the sky. She kept sighing over and over again over her thoughts. Whatever could stress a young girl such as herself so?

"Um... Plum?" The guide looked at her worriedly from the window. He had never seen his daughter act in such a manner before. It was actually scaring him. "Hey, are you okay?!" He could clearly see some saliva streaming from her mouth. "Hey!!"

"Papa," she finally answered him. "Papa, I think... I think I'm in love."

The guide's shocked face flushed into many colours at that moment, but ultimately seemed to settle for green. He promptly fainted afterwards.

Plum sighed.

---

"(Man, that was close!)" Ryouga gave a sigh of relief. Good thing she had remembered what the Jusenkyo guide had told her about her curse. She already had problems with some locals thanks to whatever Saotome did to them, creating more was the last thing she wanted. "-Where am I now?-" She examined her whereabouts. Woods? She was in a mountainous area no more than ten minutes ago!! "(WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW!!!)" She yelled in frustration. She dropped to her knees and yelled some more. "(I can't take this crap anymore!)" She pulled a dagger from her pack. "(I'm gonna kill myself! This isn't worth it!)" She breathed heavily and stared at the sharp blade. Ryouga was on the verge of insanity! This whole trip was a bad idea. She would've stayed in Japan if she had known this would have happened to her. It would all end soon, though. Yes, bliss was awaiting her now... 'Take that, Saotome! I'm gonna be free from this hell you're putting me through.'

The image of a laughing Ranma popped in her head. "(Look at you, Ryouga. You're so pathetic. Someone like you, beat me? Hah! Cut the bullshit. Do you know why I left? It's because it's just not worth it. You're too weak! A moron like you deserves all the shit you're getting. And now you just want to kill yourself? The weaklings' way out, I guess. Once a weakling, always a weakling.)"

"(SAOTOMEEEEEE!!!)" she yelled at the top of her lungs' capacity. "(Shut the fuck up!)" She slashed away Ranma's image. "(Thanks for the encouragement! Fine, I'll kill you first, then!)"

"Who goes there?!"

Snapping out of her rage, Ryouga spotted two girls approaching her, each holding spears.

"A phoenix?!" one of them cried out. Looking at her tattered clothes, and the sweat coming down on her pretty face and body, she couldn't help but feel a strong surge of something... weird within her. Strangely, her face felt hot. Turning to her partner, she noticed that she was stuttering nonsense. "Hey," she managed to find her voice. "G-go call the others. Now!"

"Y-yes!" She rushed running back.

Ryouga didn't know what to do. "Um, excuse me..." she said, causing the girl to stiff. Ryouga was confused. What was up with her?

A smile forced its way on the woman's face. 'What am I smiling for?' Her heart was throbbing strongly for some reason as well. She walked towards Ryouga against her will and lowered herself to meet her gaze. "Hello, my name is Lei Fan." She smiled brightly. "What is your name, charming lady?"

Ryouga was too stunned to reply. She wasn't expecting something like that! 'She's not... doing what I think she is, is she?' Ryouga opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Suddenly, Lei Fan's pleasant smiling face turned into a look of horror. Lei Fan dragged herself away backwards a bit and held her face with her shaking hands.

"Wh-wh-what am I doing?! I c-can't be... B-but I'm not..." She took a glance at the phoenix girl. "But she's so... No! The village elders would kill me!"

'Okay, this is too weird. Maybe I should leave quietly now.' Ryouga sat up and turned to leave, but Lei Fan latched onto one of her legs. "H-hey!"

"Please, don't go!" she said with tearful eyes. "You...! I... I think I l-l-lo-lo..." She kept stuttering like a lovesick fool for a while.

Ryouga blushed. "Listen, lady! I not have time for this!" Ryouga tried to force her off of her, but she tripped, sending herself onto Lei Fan.

With Ryouga's face merely a few centimetres away from her own face, Lei Fan blushed. She could feel the beautiful phoenix's breasts rubbing with her own lightly through the thin cloth, making Lei Fan's nipples get hard from her excitement. "Iiya! My, so forward!"

With a blush of her own, Ryouga tried get up, but was pulled back by the older woman. How did she get in this situation?! "Let go!"

"What's going on here?!"

Shifting their attention, they realised the woman from earlier had come back with five others. Pushing Ryouga gently away, she stood and faced them. "Well, I..."

The girls glanced behind her and found the beautiful phoenix giving them a look of confusion, but that didn't continue since their view got blocked suddenly by Lei Fan's body. There seemed to be a dangerous gleam in her eyes.

"Piss off! She's mine!" She spread her arms protectively. "Get your filthy glares away from her! I found her first!"

The group was taken aback and contemplated their next move.

"(Aw, hell.)" Ryouga mumbled. She needed to get out of here! Leaving them to argue, Ryouga started to slowly drag herself away, like a baby that couldn't walk. Moving carefully, she felt her face bumping into something soft whilst looking at the ground. She raised her head to find herself staring at the petit breasts of a redhead, wearing similar clothing to the other maniacs she planned to leave behind.

"Hi." She lifted her palm up in salutation and smiled warmly at her.

"Umm, err... Hello?" Ryouga replied, unsure whether to get embarrassed, nosebleed, or faint. Perhaps all of the above? That might not be a good idea, either, though; she seemed really young...

"My name is Ling Ling!" The redhead grabbed Ryouga's hands. "What's your name?" She laughed nervously and blushed.

Ryouga felt something twist within his stomach. "Erm..."

"HEY!! Ling Ling!! Stop cheating, you spoiled brat!" Lei Fan's was heard from behind.

Before Ryouga could even turn, she was pulled away from Ling Ling by her collar roughly by whom she confirmed as Lei Fan when she hugged her from behind, apparently for protection.

"I said I found her first! Go away!" she cried out.

"Found her first, my foot!" her partner retorted. "I was with you when we got here, you stupid bitch!"

Before Lei Fan could reply with an insult of her own, her angry companion lunged at her with a violent punch to the face, which led to a full blown fight.

Ryouga watched the two in awe as they kept throwing random blows at one another. "(Wow... Just... wow.)" she mumbled in a low voice as she watched the catfight. However, her vision was blocked by another pretty face. "What is-"

"Oooh!! You're so cute!" She buried Ryouga's face to her chest in a hug.

"Hey, Xiao Ming, you must share, too!"

Ryouga was temporarily saved Xiao Ming's clutches, but ultimately, she only ended up within the grasp of another woman.

"Hey!"

"Share with me, too!" a new voice popped up.

"I as well!"

Eventually, after being tossed around like a doll, Ryouga ended up being pulled simultaneously from several directions. "(Argh!!)"

"HEY, YOU BIMBOES!! How dare you do this to my Goddess!!" Lei Fan's voice was heard, as she joined the fun. This, of course, led her rival to the fun as well.

'I always wanted to be popular with women, but this is ridiculous!!' Ryouga's temper was rising at dangerous levels. "(LET ME GO, GODDAMMIT!!!)" Taking full advantage of her monstrous strength, Ryouga managed to flung away all of the girls roughly. "(Are you trying to kill me?!?)"

In one moment they were looking rather dazed, in another they were a tearful bunch. Full blown crying came afterwards, like a fire extinguisher to a flame on Ryouga's temper.

"Wah, do you hate us?"

"Umm, well, I... No! But..." If Ryouga had any weakness, it would be a woman's tears. The tears of several women were overkill, though. "Aw, Please! Don't cry!" She started to sweat heavily from the tension.

"What the hell is going on here?" the angry voice of a yet another woman called out.

Ryouga noticed the girls stiffen by her mere presence. She had long purple hair reaching down to her knees, and wore similar clothing to that of the girls.

"Miss Xian Pu!" Lei Fan yelled nervously. "It's not what it looks like!"

The others yelled in agreement immediately afterwards.

"I'm sure..." She shook her head. "You lot are pathetic. Showing fear to your enemy, what were you thinking?" Xian Pu walked to Ryouga with a frown on her face.

Naturally, Ryouga backed away a bit, but found herself hitting a tree.

"So, you've caused this mess." She said to her upon getting closer. "I shall challenge you to the death..."

'That word... Challenge? She wants to fight me?' Ryouga had no intention to start a meaningless fight with a bunch of girls popping out of nowhere.

"...in order to go out with me!" She held Ryouga's hand gently, with a new hopeful face replacing her previous one.

The girls facefaulted at her sudden statement.

Ryouga was speechless. Her mouth hung open in shock. 'Arghhh! Not her too! What the hell is wrong with the women in this country?'

"Miss Xian Pu is our rival!" Lei Fan whispered to her fellow companions with burning eyes.

"Ack!" Xian Pu let go of her hand in an instant and shook her head, as if to clear it. "Err, what I meant to say was: I challenge you to a fight!" She was notably shaking at this point. As she backed away, suddenly, without warning, she charged at the cursed traveller with a reckless kick.

Ryouga saw it coming and managed to avoid it effortlessly. "Hey, wait!" She avoided a series of kicks. It was obvious to Ryouga that she was distracted with... something. Ryouga had a good idea what it was, but kept it within the depths of her head, in an attempt to deny it. "I not want to fight!"

"Quiet!" She hissed.

'Dammit, if this keeps up someone will get hurt...' Coming to a decision, Ryouga dodged another sloppy punch and gathered enough strength into her arm to knock her out. She immediately went for the kill and delivered a mighty punch to her stomach. As expected, she fell unconscious right into her arms.

"Wow, she beat Xian Pu!" Xiao Ming was the first to recover among the girls and started to clap at her new obsession's victory. "Beauty comes with power naturally, so it's no surprise here."

Ryouga sat her down and turned to the girls, sheepishly rubbing the back of her head. "Ehehehehe! Mustgonowbyebye!!" She picked up her pack and went running as fast as her legs could take her.

"She's running away! After her, girls!"

---

Genma was terribly annoyed as he walked around a thick forest. 'It has been what, 6 months since I've lost Ranma?' Genma thought bitterly. If he didn't find him soon, he would be in a lot of trouble when he got back to Japan. How would he fulfil his end of the promise with his best friend without his son? Their dream of joining their schools would be crushed, and it would be all his fault. This wasn't the worst of his problems, however. His wife would murder him when she found out. He could almost feel the cold steel of the family katana's blade on his neck. "(What am I going to do?)"

"Don't let her leave your sight, girls! Follow her!" a female voice suddenly interrupted Genma's thoughts.

He turned around, only to see the foot of someone impaling on his face, sending him on his back. "(Wha??)" He tried to get up and give whoever was bold enough to step on his face a lesson. Unfortunately, as if time had stopped, he saw a group of women just above him in mid-air, ultimately descending upon him. "(Oh, sh-)"

A world of pain commenced.

---

Another day of guard duty, another boring day for Lime and Mint. And to think they should have been slacking off all day long today. That was what they were hoping for, until the guards that were supposed to be watching the gates fell ill somehow. It was as if fate itself was against them.

"Why us anyway?" Lime complained.

"Dunno," his companion answered in a grumble.

"Why both of us anyway? Why not just you?"

"Dun- Hey, wait, are you try to put this on me?" He glared at Lime.

"Well, no. Just saying."

"Like hell you are."

"Uh, anyway, I'm bored." Lime tried to change the subject. "How 'bout we ditch this crap and do something interesting?"

"How? Prince Herb would just yell at us again."

Lime grinned, but before he could answer Mint's question, loud shouting could be heard from the distance. "What the hell is that?" He pointed towards the commotion.

"Whoa, a hot chick with wings? Holy crap, she's running this way, and there's a bunch of other hot chicks after her!" he exclaimed cheerfully.

"Damn, awesome. Look at those bouncy tits... Hehehe... bouncy tits." He drooled like a moron. "Finally some excitement around here. What should we do?"

"Um... do our job?" Mint answered dumbly. "The winged hottie is obviously one of them Phoenix chicks, and the others seem to be amazons from Joketsuzoku? Why would they be together rushing over here?"

"Umm... Well, they're both our enemies, right? So it's gotta be some sort of combined raid."

"But aren't the amazons and the Phoenix on bad terms?"

"Who the heck cares? Let's just report this to Prince Herb already."

"Good idea. Maybe he'll give me the one with the bouncy tits! Oh, man... The things I'd do to get my hands on them..."

Mint sweatdropped. "Whatever. You go and I'll keep watch."

"Why should I go? You go!"

"No, you go!"

"I told you to go, damn you!"

They glared at each other for a moment. "There's only one way to solve this!!" they yelled in unison. "Rock, Paper, Scissors!"

"Ha, I won!" Mint held his Rock in victory.

"Aww, dammit. I wanna watch them bounce some more..." Lime whined as he dragged himself to Herb's training ground. Moments later, he returned along with Prince Herb himself and three other guards.

"Status report?" Herb demanded of the remaining guard.

"Well, they seem to be idling over there for some reason," Mint answered casually.

"Are you sure it's a combined raid?" Herb crossed his arms as he watched the lot. "They seem to be having an argument if you ask me. No matter, the fools are on Musk grounds anyway." He signaled for the guards to take action. "Seize them!"

"Sir!" They rushed towards the group of intruders.

Herb followed suit and let out a battle cry. Unleashing a blow at the phoenix.

"Whoa!" Ryouga barely side-stepped the dragon prince's attacks. "Watch it!"

"The Musk prince?!" Lei Fan yelled out in shock. "What are you doing here?"

"Silence, vermin!" A guard slashed at her with his sword, but she managed to block with her spear. "You are on Musk grounds!"

'Eh? How? We were near the village no more than 5 minutes ago...'

Ryouga was having a hard time dealing with Herb's agile attacks. Avoiding was out of the question and was left only blocking, let alone counter-attack; and even then, a fast series of kicks and punches easily slipped through her defence often. "Ugh!" She flung to the ground by a powerful kick to the stomach. "(Shit, how can he be so strong...?)" she mumbled. "(I gotta think of something or I'm dead.)" Fortunately, Ryouga did not need to do any of that.

"HOLY SHIT, GIRLS, OUR GODDESS IS IN DANGER!!!"

Ryouga didn't recognise which girl the voice belonged to, but for the first time since meeting the troublesome bunch, she was happy to see them all lunge at the young man ignoring their own battles.

"What in blazes?" Herb shouted in surprise as he got buried below the girls like a victim of a football match.

---

Hidden at the top of a tree, Ranma watched the battle and his friend get ambushed. 'Hahaha, prince boy didn't see that one coming.' He looked back at the winged girl and examined her closely. 'Hmm, where have I seen her before? I dunno anyone with wings, but those clothes seem familiar...' Ranma felt like he knew her somehow or another. He was curious to find out more about her, but she will more than likely not be in one piece once Herb was done with her. 'Oh, I know. I'll help her out! Being around a cute girl for a change would be great...'

Coming to a decision, Ranma took off and flew towards his target. "Kuueeh!" He pulled on her shirt when she got within his reach.

"(Yow, hey! What do you think you're doing, you stupid bird!)"

'Wow, fluent Japanese. I haven't heard that in a long time.' Ranma grew excited as he pulled harder. If he was somehow connected to this girl, then perhaps she could help. Unlike his unreliable old man, who was now a pig, she might be able to do something. At least, that's what his instincts were telling him. He bit her shoulder lightly in order to tick her off.

"(Ow! Why you little...!)"

Had he had lips, Ranma would have grinned for his success as she followed him through a dense forest. He knew of a spot that was pretty much safe from the presence of people. In his excitement, he sped up a little.

"(Wait up, you! I'll kill you!)"

The chase finally ended, when Ranma settled on top of a large tree.

"(Hah! You think you're safe just because you're high up?!)"

'Well, no. I can obviously tell that you could get up here without a hitch.' Ranma thought about his next action, but unexpectedly, received a retort.

"(You damn right I can!)"

'Hey, what the hell? You can hear my thoughts?'

She crossed her arms. "(Of course I can hea-)" She topped in mid-sentence and widened her eyes. "(What the hell? I can hear you?)"

'That's what I'm asking...'

"(Oh, shut up. No, I mean, how?)"

'Gee, I dunno. I should be asking you that. Interesting.'

She held her head. "(Ugh, this trip is too much. I'm starting to get mental.)"

'Um, hey...'

"(Ignore it and it'll go away...)" she muttered.

'Hello? I'm talking, err, thinking to you here.'

"(Ignore it and it'll go away...)" she repeated.

'HEY!!'

"(SHUT UP!! Why don't you just go away?!)"

'Cuz I need your help.' Ranma answered her honestly. 'Can you tell me your name? I feel like I know you.'

"(Gee, you remind me of a certain someone, too.)" She hung her head. There she was, in the middle of nowhere talking to a bird. Wonderful. "(It's Ryouga.)"

'Ry-Ryouga?!' Ranma almost lost his balance. 'As in Hibiki Ryouga?!'

"(The one and only.)" She grumbled. "(Wait... How did you know that?)"

'Holy shit, what happened to you? It's me, Ranma, man!'

"(Ranma?! You're Saotome?!)" She growled. "(Don't tell me... Jusenkyo?)"

'Damn, you've been there too? I guess that explains everything. Sorry, man. At least you have some nice assets, so it's not so bad.'

Ryouga shook violently with anger. "(Damn you, Saotome!!)" She started shaking the tree with all her might. "(You even dare make fun of my suffering? I'm going to kill you for the hell you've put me through, you piece of shit!)"

'Whoa, stop!' He held on tightly as not to fall off. 'Hell I've put you through? What the hell are you talking about?'

"(Come down here and change back so that I could give you the beating you so deserve.)"

This caught Ranma's attention. 'What?! Change back? How?!' Ryouga's shaking suddenly stopped.

"(You... You don't know?)" Ryouga looked dumbfounded. "(What kind of moron are you? Didn't you hear out the guide?)"

'Well, I kinda freaked and flew away after getting this body,' he answered sheepishly, ignoring Ryouga's insults.

"(Why am I not surprised...)" She sighed.

'Oh, shut up. Well, what do I do?! Tell me!'

"(Pipe down! Let me set up camp first.)" Ryouga unhooked his pack and started with his tent. "(Hey, make yourself useful and gather some wood.)"

'Why now? Just tell me what I need to do!'

"(I already told you. Gather some wood.)" Ignoring Ranma's whining, Ryouga gave his tent his full attention.

'Argh, fine!' He flew away in a rush.

Half an hour, constant whining, and several murderous threats later, Ryouga and Ranma were glaring at the kettle as the water got heated on top of a small heater.

'So all I need to do is wet myself with hot water?'

"(For the thousandth time, YES! Now shut up and wait.)"

Ranma shifted around impatiently. He was too excited. After several months of being stuck as a bird, he finally found a way turn back, even though it's only a temporary cure. Ryouga was like his saviour from the heavens; he'd rather die than openly admit it, though.

"(So, what have ya been up to?)" Ryouga asked suddenly, not leaving the kettle out of his gaze. "(Stuck as a bird and all.)"

'Eh, not much. Been hanging around that place where prince boy kicked your ass. He's been giving me food and stuff.'

"Prince boy? You mean that guy from before?)"

'Yeah, from what I gather, he's the head of a martial arts dynasty of sorts.'

"(I see, no wonder he's so strong.)"

'Yup, he's pretty much out of our league. For now, anyway.' Ranma bitterly admitted.

Ryouga got up and picked up the kettle off the heater. "(I guess this is good enough.)"

'Finally! Give it to me!' He rushed towards the winged girl and pulled on her pants in his excitement.

"(All right already, lemme use it first!)" she yelled in annoyance and poured some of the water on herself. Ryouga felt herself get taller and lose some weight. After what seemed like an eternity, he was standing in all his glory as a fully human male again, tears streaming down his face. He was so happy to be male again, he was... bitten hard by an angry falcon on the leg. "-OW!!-"

"KUEEH!!" Ranma flapped his wings in vexation.

"Shit, fine! Here!" Ryouga poured all of its contents on the falcon's head.

For the second time in his life, Ranma experienced the shock of his body forming into a different being. In an instant, he saw first his hands. His human hands, that is! He tried to get up, but lost his balance in the process, falling on his butt. But that butt was a human butt, that is! "(Ow!)" he spoke as he fell. Of course, he spoke like how a human would! He was back! He was really back! He was Huäng Yïng, the wild falcon, no more! He was Saotome Ranma, the martial artist! And he has returned!

"(Eh, can't even stand properly, can you?)"

"(I'm human again...!)" Ranma's voiced cracked with happiness.

--------------------------------------

To be continued...

--------------------------------------

Authors' notes:

**Dark Master Schmidt:** Wow, this sure took an eternity to finish. I first worked on this shortly after the first chapter was out, however, progress got stalled for several months and real progress only picked up again back in December. Stopped again on that same month when finals started... then picked it up for a small while in the middle of January and made significant progress, and finally finished it in May, after suddenly losing motivation to write. _

The only reason it didn't get posted till now because Nuvares wanted to do some editing. But we all know how much of a bitch real life is, don't we? This chapter will probably be revised slightly when he gets the time to work on it. Also, I'm sorry to say this, especially after the time it took to release this chapter, but don't expect the next chapter to be done any time soon. However, please look forward to it! I'm really glad how much of you like this fic, and I appreciate all of your comments, even if it is just a request for us to hurry the fuck up. They're like a treasure to me, really.

Well, anyway, enough rants. Here's the chapter. Now I can finally work on something else... Yay.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer:

**Dark Master Schmidt:** I don't own Ranma; if I did, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction. The only thing I own is the story, which is not entirely mine, either, anyway...

**Nuvares:** Yeah, what he said.

"..." Chinese.

"(...)" Japanese.

'...' Thoughts.

The Wild Falcon

By

Dark Master Schmidt

& Nuvares

--------------------------------------

Chapter 3: Catching Up with Chaos

--------------------------------------

Ranma lazily rested the back of his head on the large tree. Watching Ryouga perform his usual morning kata through his sleepy eyes, he made a loud yawn and scratched the top of his head. It had already been a week since Ryouga had found him. Well, technically, it was Ranma who had found Ryouga, but that didn't really matter.

For some reason, Ryouga seemed to hate Ranma's guts. Yet, at the same time, he didn't seem to mind Ranma sticking along and leeching off his limited food supply. Ryouga also gave him his spare clothes, which thankfully fit just fine. Ryouga's behaviour was quite baffling, and also very annoying.

Ranma decided to get up and join Ryouga with his own kata. He needed all the exercise he could get to get back in shape.

As Ranma commenced his exercise, he briefly wondered when they were going to eat breakfast; he was starving. Ranma thought this would be a good way to start some conservation with the other cursed boy. Though, before he could open his mouth to speak, Ranma lost his balance right after making a sudden turn.

"(Ow, damn.)" Ranma cried out as he landed to his side.

This caused Ryouga to stop whatever he was doing and sigh at Ranma's direction. "(Again? You're pathetic, Saotome.)" Ryouga crossed his arms. "(And here I was hoping to kick your ass. You can barely walk, let alone fight me.)"

Ranma let out a snort at Ryouga. "(Well, _excuse_ me, princess!)" Ranma rolled his eyes while he got back up to his feet. "(I'd like to see you get stuck as a friggin' bird for a little over half a year and see how you'd fare.)"

"(That was your own fault for not listening to the Jusenkyo guide, you retard.)" Ryouga retorted.

Ranma's eyebrow twitched angrily. "(Hey, I was pretty freaked out, you know? How the hell do you think I was supposed to react? How did _you_ react when you got your curse, eh, tough guy?)"

"(Well, I...)" Ryouga stopped himself from answering, sweating a bit. There was no way in hell he was going to tell Ranma he cried and fainted from shock. "(Anyway, you shouldn't have run away, idiot.)"

"(Oh, so you're changing the subject now! Fabulous!)" Ranma exclaimed sarcastically.

"(Screw you, Saotome! At least I'm not as weak as you are now!)" Ryouga growled. He was really starting to get angry.

"(What did you call me?)" Ranma sneered at the other boy. "(I dare you repeat that.)"

"(Oh, gladly. You are weak. Weak, weak, weak, weak. I could beat you up without even trying.)"

"(Oh, yeah? You wanna piece of me, pretty face?)" Ranma took a fighting stance. "(I'm going to kick your ass for that one, Ryouga.)"

"(I'd like to see you try, featherhead.)" Ryouga took his own fighting stance as well. He was going to show that arrogant bastard his place.

Seconds pass with nothing, but the two teenagers eyeing each other scornfully.

'I'll show him.' They thought simultaneously, and then, they charged, each with a battle cry rivalling that of the other.

---

Within her room, Xian Pu muttered a curse under her breath whilst preparing her pack. Xian Pu couldn't believe it. She had lost a battle, to a female outsider no less. To be quite honest, Xian Pu didn't feel like hunting her to the ends of the earth, but laws were laws; and so, she was obliged to find her and give her the Kiss of Death.

Xian Pu froze. That... didn't feel right. Was she really going to kill her, that outsider girl...? As Xian Pu thought about her, she felt a familiar sensation returning to her. That feeling; it was the same when they fist met. What was this? Why did she feel this way, and towards another girl? That was just wrong.

Xian Pu started to breathe heavily. Her face felt hotter by each passing second. Bringing her cool hands to her heated face, she felt her hear beat faster. Xian Pu then had a thought. Never ever Xian Pu thought she'd do something like this, but it was very hard to resist. Moving one hand away from her face, she slowly slid it downwards from her hot neck, across her soft round breasts, but then Xian Pu pauses hesitantly. Xian Pu could hear her breathing get louder. She was getting very...

"Xian Pu!" a voice yelled from behind her.

Startled, Xian Pu frantically jumped into standing position awkwardly. "Y-y-y-yes! What is it, great grandmother?" She turned to the door, where she saw her great grandmother standing.

Koh Lon blinked at her sudden outburst. "Are... you feeling all right, Xian Pu? Your face is awfully red."

"Of-of course I am! It's just a little bit hot in here, that's all!" Xian Pu waved her arms around nervously. She mentally cursed herself for attempting to do _that_, without even closing the door! What was she thinking?!

"Is that so..." The old woman looked at her suspiciously. "At any rate, I came to see if you're ready."

"Yes! Yes, I am. In fact," Xian Pu quickly wore her backpack, "I was about to depart just now." She carried a large Chinese sword off of her bed. "Well, then. If you'll excuse me..." Xian Pu rushed past her.

Koh Lon stood there, watching her great granddaughter fade away from her sight. Something about Xian Pu felt off.

Very off, indeed.

---

"(Argh!)" Ranma growled at Ryouga angrily. "(Ryouga, you bastard. That was a cheap shot!)" Ranma winced as he held his left arm.

"(Cheap?)" Ryouga maintained his defensive stance some metres away. "(That wasn't cheap; you just suck ass, Saotome.)"

"(I'll show you who sucks, pretty face!)" Ignoring the pain, Ranma lunged again at his opponent.

"(Bring it!)"

---

The Jusenkyo guide carried his usual patrol around the cursed springs. From the spring of drowned Ashura to the spring of drowned girl, everything seemed normal so far; there was no sign of outsiders. Only after reaching a certain spring did he realise something was not right.

"This is the spring of drowned Phoenix girl..." The guide crossed his arms as he stood over it, careful not to curse himself. Was it just him, or did the spring suspiciously move somehow...? "Hmm..." The guide scratched the back of his head. "That's funny. That Japanese boy fell here the other day, but..." The guide frowned. Something didn't feel right. Could this have been the same spring? No, no. This spring was different. It couldn't have been the same spring. Then, he came to a sudden realisation.

"Oh, God, no." Had the guide made a mistake? He quickly turned and scanned the springs. The guide almost instantly found it; the spring the Japanese boy fell into. His fears were confirmed. He had blundered. "That spring is... Oh, shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit." The guide held his head and walked around in circles, all the while cursing his mistake. "What should I do?" He stopped in his tracks and began to contemplate. He couldn't believe he mistook the curse. First he cursed the boy and then made the dreadful error of mistaking the curse. The guide must have been waning with age...

No, wait. The boy was already gone, and in addition to that, he had not signed the Jusenkyo guestbook. The world was a big place. As long as he didn't come back, no one would find out. Indeed, no one would find out. That line of thinking eased his thoughts for a moment, but then he remembered something else.

"Oh, crap. Plum!" The guide rushed back to his house, loudly opening the door. "Plum, are you in here?" Looking around frantically, he noticed a piece of paper, neatly placed beneath a pen upon a table. Recognising Plum's handwriting, he quickly snatched the paper off the table, and began to read it out loud.

_"Dearest father,_

_There is something that I have been wanting to tell you, but I couldn't sum up the courage to tell you directly, so I'm writing my thoughts on this paper for you._

_I'll get straight to the point. As you can see, I am no longer here. For the past few days, I have been battling my emotions, but I realise that I must be true with myself; I cannot lie to myself anymore. Hence, I have gone to a journey to find the person who has stolen my heart. Please don't try to follow me, because frankly, you can't. I'm determined to do this, and no one can stop me._

_But I promise you; I will return home one day as a real woman. I will make you proud of me, daddy._

_Your loving daughter,_

_Plum._

_P.S. I know you'll miss my food, so I'll send you some recipes by mail occasionally. ^^/"_

The guide dropped his daughter's note in shock. He couldn't believe this. His own daughter had left him, and for that... that little... She wasn't even of age yet. How was he going to explain this to his wife? She was going to kill him.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO~"

---

Ryouga held his face in pain. "(Damn you, Saotome!)" He roared like a demon. "(How dare you strike while I wasn't looking!)"

Ranma smirked from a safe distance. "(It's not my fault you suck at dodging, pretty face.)"

Ryouga growled at Ranma's insult. "(If you call me that _one more time_, Saotome...)"

"(Whatever, princess. Let's just get this over with.)"

"(DIE, SAOTOME!!!)" Ryouga charged at his rival.

"(Bring it!)"

---

Mint sighed in annoyance. "Jeez, you guys," he exclaimed at their prisoners from Joketsuzoku.

Behind bars, four women of Joketsuzoku lay on the ground lazily, while two others were killing time by playing cards.

"Hah! I got you there, Ling Ling!" Xiao Ming exclaimed in triumph.

"Ah! That's not fair!" The younger girl complained. "You always get the best cards..."

Lime turned to his partner. "Think maybe we should use force?" He scratched the back of his head.

"Nah. You know how Prince Herb hates abusing prisoners."

"Oh, man. We won't be getting anything done at this rate, though..." Lime grumbled at the carefree women. "I mean, just look at them!"

Mint sighed again. "Come on already!" He kicked the bars loudly. "I'm getting tired of this! Just tell us what you know of that Phoenix girl!!" Mint yelled in annoyance.

Lei Fan picked her ear with her pinkie. "For the thousandth time, we don't know." She turned into a more comfortable position. "We saw her outside our village, and then we chased her all the way here. What more do you want?"

Mint groaned in frustration. "And you expect us to believe that?!"

"Calm down, Mint. Maybe they're telling the truth?"

"Yeah, right."

"Believe what you want, kid." Lei Fan rolled her eyes. "And how long do you plan to keep us here? I know you'd rather let us go instead of having us freeload at your expense."

"She's right, Mint." Lime nodded. "These guys eat way too much, shower too often, keep asking for new playing cards, and order a lot of video games, among other things. Basically, consume a lot of resources."

"I'm aware of that." Mint blinked. "Hold on... Video games? Who the hell gave them the liberty to do that?"

"W-well..." Lime blushed. "You know."

"You idiot." Mint shook his head solemnly. "Stop being so nice to them!"

"Hey! I can't just reject their service!" Lime instantly covered his mouth. 'Oops. Shouldn't have said that...'

"Oh? Service, eh?" Mint narrowed his eyes. "I see now. What have you been doing behind my back, Lime?"

"Hey, it was kinda hard to resist!" Lime protested weakly.

"You idiot!" Mint held him by his collar. "You've gone and done it without me?! How could you leave me out?!"

"Hey, no need to get so angry. There's always next time."

"Next time? Think I'll forgive you that easily?!"

"Uh, yeah?"

"Think again!" Mint shook him by his collar.

"Ack!"

Lei Fan watched their bickering intently. "Hey, these clowns are pretty entertaining..."

One of the younger warriors looked around innocently. "Anyone up for some ChuChu Rocket?"

"I'll take you on, Chyou!"

"Me, too."

"Guess I'll give it a shot as well."

---

Ranma distanced himself from Ryouga after he nearly beheaded him with one of his powerful punches. Gasping hard for his breath, he tried to think of a strategy into beating the other martial artist. Trying to piss off Ryouga worked for a while, but Ranma's endurance gave in before he could do a lot. He was getting extremely tired, while Ryouga didn't seem to be affected much. If Ryouga could manage to land a few more hits, it would be over for Ranma. 'Damn. Think, think... I ain't losing to that girlie man. I'll kill myself before that happens.' Ranma cursed under his breath. Since it was coming to this result, he had no choice but to use more desperate attacks. Ranma finally smirked again; he knew exactly what to do.

Ryouga grimaced at Ranma's expression. Whenever that moron smirked in that fashion, it meant that he was going to pull something annoying out of his ass. Not that it mattered. Ranma was getting exhausted, even Ryouga could tell as much. One kick; just one kick at the right place and it was going to be all over. Ryouga needed to get that hit connect before Ranma could get the chance to do something. "(Get ready to lose, Saotome.)"

"(Me, lose? When pigs fly, pretty face.)" Ranma waited for Ryouga to attack, and Ryouga did not fail to meet his expectations.

Ryouga launched one punch, and then followed by a second, an upper cut, both of which barely missed Ranma by a hair. It was then when Ranma found an opening; the failed uppercut left Ryouga wide open. Forming a smirk, Ranma felt every muscle in his body jump towards his chance to victory. He lashed downwards with a kick at all the strength he could muster. Victory was his.

Ryouga saw this and smiled. "(Predictable!)" With a cry, he lashed with an upwards kick of his own. Ryouga was going to win; he was sure of it. While Saotome had kicked first, he was too tired, and hence, Ryouga's kick would connect first. He had won, it was over!

Ranma had similar thoughts in his mind. Time seemed like it had stopped, rendering them frozen as they were executing their kicks. Ranma seriously didn't consider Ryouga would think ahead. If Ryouga's kick hit him first, Ranma would lose. Yes, he would lose... 'Me, lose? To that... That Ryouga? Like hell I will! I ain't losin'! Not today!!' With desperate thoughts of victory in his mind, adrenaline rushed through Ranma's body, and he felt his kick move faster than before. Then victory came! He felt his kick connecting. However, he also felt Ryouga's kick connect as well.

They had both succeeded... at hitting the other's testicles with unthinkable force. Unimaginable pain ran through their crotches, as they instantly writhed on the ground, voicelessly screaming their agony.

---

Xian Pu had been walking for a while trying to pick up on the tracks of the phoenix girl but it was hard going, they appeared and disappeared only to appear again later; it was as if she was walking, flying then walking again. The two sets of male prints that were all over the place didn't help either. Always she would enter the remains of a campsite, and then they would leave. Then later on she would appear and both of the men would disappear.

"Companions? But no, they're never together..."

---

"(Argh!!)" Ryouga held his balls in pain. "(Saotome... You motherfucker...)" Ryouga could barely speak. He had decided to insult his rival at the only chance he got.

"(Urmph!!)" Ranma shared the same sentiment, but lacked the energy to speak.

Purely by chance, Ryouga's face turned towards the direction of their camp. Ryouga got an idea that he hoped it would work. Unable to move his legs, he used one arm to crawl back to the camp. It took him nearly one minute to reach his pack. Wasting no time, he searched frantically for his thermos and splashed himself with ice cold water.

Ryouga gasped heavily as the pain instantly disappeared. She almost cried from joy; almost. She didn't even notice the back of her shirt was torn apart. "(Oh, man. For the first time in my life, I'm _glad_ my balls are missing.)" Ryouga looked at Ranma and grimaced. "(Poor bastard...)" She threw her thermos on top of Ranma's head.

"KUEH!!" Ranma flapped his wings and gasped similarly like Ryouga. 'Man, I thought I was gonna die.'

"(Feh. Maybe I should have let you die.)"

"Kueh!" Ranma glared at the girl angrily. 'Ryouga, you bastard! Where the hell were you aiming?'

"(I should be asking you the same thing, you retard!)" Ryouga glared back.

'Whatever. Just gimme some hot water, will you?' Ranma walked towards the girl.

"(The hot water's in this one.)" Ryouga placed another thermos in front of the falcon. "(Be my guest, Saotome.)"

Ranma looked at it for a moment before attempting to open it. "Kueh!" Ranma struggled to open the top cover with his large beak.

Ryouga sniggered at the falcon's predicament, amused. "(Keep at it, Saotome.)"

"Kueh!" Ranma exclaimed angrily. 'Help me out, you dolt!'

"(Why should I?)" Ryouga narrowed her eyes, earning a hateful glare in response. "(Oh, fine.)" Ryouga opened the thermos and poured hot water on the falcon.

"(Ryouga, you little...!)" Ranma pulled on Ryouga's collar, causing her torn shirt to slip up enough to reveal the cleavage of her breasts. Ranma froze and blushed a little as he stared. For his achievement, Ranma earned a direct punch to the face.

"(Watch where you're grabbing, you moron.)" Ryouga straightened her shirt. She watched Ranma rub his face before telling him, "(Make yourself useful and go get some water from the river.)" She threw him an empty bucket.

"(Why do _I_ have to do it?)" Ranma sulked.

"(You used the last bit of water,)" Ryouga explained. "(Stop being a lazy bum and do something.)"

"(Yeah, yeah.)" Ranma gave up and went to fetch some water after getting dressed.

Ryouga sighed as soon Ranma was gone. She can finally change into a new shirt. Ryouga seriously needed to do something about this curse. She was running out of shirts at an annoyingly rapid pace...

---

Xian Pu examined the tracks on the ground. The footsteps were fresh, albeit heavy for a girl of her figure. But there was no doubt that they belonged to the person she was looking for. Xian Pu picked up a large black feather off the trail. After all, who else could carry a feather as large as this one? No species of large birds lived around these parts; those birdmen didn't casually walk around here, either. The size for the footprints seemed to be about right as well.

"But..." Xian Pu looked at a set of prints some centimetres away. "Someone else is with her." She walked along the tracks. That other person didn't matter. As long as Xian Pu would find her, she couldn't care less.

As she walked, their trail became clearer. They were probably close, she guessed. Five minutes later, she heard the arguing of people in a funny language; one female and one male voice. The language was probably Japanese. That annoying Mu Tzu was fluent in that one, and he spent every waking moment to flaunt his skills.

At any rate, Xian Pu was incredibly close now. She carefully leapt on the branches of a large tree. Looking on the other side, she smiled. Xian Pu had finally found her. The winged girl was looking at someone. Shifting her sights, she found a half naked man getting dressed. Xian Pu almost lost her balance off the branch when she saw that. "Oh, my..." Xian Pu wondered who that man was, and why he was looking like that in front of a girl.

_Unless..._

"Oh, no..." Xian Pu frowned. "They couldn't have..." She shook her head. She had a man? That couldn't be! "But... But she was..." She felt rage swell up inside of her. Without noticing that he had left, Xian Pu threw her sword towards the lone girl. Fortunately, the sword only landed directly in front of her.

"(What the hell?!)" Ryouga jumped in surprise. Before she could check what had happened, Xian Pu landed in front of the girl, looking extremely irritated. "(Eh?)"

Xian Pu stood there and fumed.

"(Oh, it's you...)" Recognising the girl, Ryouga backed away carefully.

"I'm going to kill you!" Xian Pu pointed with her sword.

"H-hey! Hold on!" Ryouga barely avoided her swing. "What do you think you're doing?" Ryouga ducked another strike. "I said wait!"

"Shut up." Xian Pu lashed another vertical slash.

Ryouga dodged to her right. "Stop it! That's dangerous!" Ryouga carelessly tripped. "(Shit!)" Ryouga looked upwards and saw that the other girl's blade was already coming down at her. That was it; there was no way Ryouga could avoid that one. Ryouga raised her arms protectively, bracing herself for the impact. "Ah!!" She closed her eyes in fear.

The pain never came. "Eh?" Ryouga opened one of her eyes. Xian Pu's slash was stopped halfway. Ryouga let out breath she didn't know she was holding. 'I'm saved... I think.' Ryouga looked back and saw her sword shaking for a brief moment before dropping to her side. Ryouga eyed it nervously at the corner of her eyes.

Xian Pu stared at downwards sadly. She couldn't do it... But why? Why couldn't she do something so simple? Why did she find it hard to move when she tried to kill her enemy? Why did her arms feel so stiff when she tried to slash her? "Why? Why?" Xian Pu felt tears stream down her face.

"Hey, now!" Ryouga growled as she stood up. "What the hell was that? I could have died, you know!"

Xian Pu felt her words stab her. "Are you angry with me?" She asked in a broken voice.

"You damn right I'm angry!" Ryouga would have proceeded to give her a piece of her mind had not Xian Pu showed Ryouga her tearful face. "Oh, hey..." Ryouga felt her heart drop to the ground.

Xian Pu sniffed and her cried harder. She couldn't believe she was crying, to an enemy no less. Thinking about it made her want to cry even harder.

"Oh, come on... I'm not that angry! Really!" Ryouga tried to cheer up the crying girl. Ryouga didn't know what the hell to do; she wasn't good with women, even less with the weeping ones. "Actually, I'm not angry at all anymore!"

Xian Pu wiped her tears away. She needed to stop crying, but it was hard. It felt less painful to cry, and so easy. How could she not cry after her failure? Not only did she not kill her enemy, she couldn't even give her the Kiss of Death. The kiss... Xian Pu walked to the other girl, wrapping her hands around her face.

Ryouga blinked once. "Wha-" Ryouga only barely started her question before her lips were interrupted with Xian Pu's, causing her to wide eyes in shock.

Xian Pu had kissed her.

---

"(That stupid Ryouga.)" Ranma sulked as he walked back to camp. "(Makin' me go and get the water. Bah. What if I get splashed? Didn't he think of that? Hmm?)" Ranma ran back. He wanted to eat something already!

Ranma held the bucket away from him as he increased his speed. "(Food, food, food, food...)" Ranma's stomach growled in response to his chanting.

Once he neared their camp, Ranma slowed down. He would have kept his pace, but stopped all movement when he heard voices.

"What do you think you're doing? I said wait!" Ryouga's voice called.

"(Hmm? Wonder who the princess is talking to.)" Ranma briefly noted the improvement of Ryouga's Chinese. It's almost as if she had a natural ability with languages. 'He shoulda been a bit nicer considering I helped him. That jerk.'

The sound of a sword slashing through the air travelled to Ranma's ears. Frowning, Ranma stepped into the clearing where their camp was. "(What the hell is going on here?)" Ranma saw Ryouga getting attacked by another girl. "(Hey, isn't that...)" Ranma smirked. He never thought he'd see that girl again. Looking around briefly, Ranma hid behind a set of bushes and watched the two intently.

Ranma almost burst out laughing when Ryouga tripped and fell on her butt. "(This is getting good...)" Ranma watched the purpled haired girl stop her attacks. "(Is she crying?)" Ranma asked himself.

Ryouga seemed to say something, probably trying to cheer her up.

As Ranma began to wonder how Ryouga knew that girl, a shocking scene unveiled. The girl had launched herself on Ryouga and kissed her. "(Holy shit.)" Ranma nearly jumped from his hiding place. "(Damn... Damn. That Ryouga? Who knew?)"

Ranma licked his lips and continued watching the show.

Ryouga did nothing to resist the other girl. She just stood there and took it; Ryouga was too stunned to do anything.

Bringing Ryouga on her back, Xian Pu explored her mouth with little to no resistance. Xian Pu herself didn't know what she was doing, she just did it. Her body moved on its own will.

Xian Pu felt like she could continue kissing her forever, but even she needed oxygen. Finally parting her lips, she could see a line of saliva from her tongue still keeping them connected for a moment before breaking off.

Taking a breath herself, Ryouga finally came back to her senses. "Guh..." Ryouga shook her head, as if to make sure what happened wasn't a dream. "Wha-what the hell?" Ryouga asked in confusion.

Breathing heavily, Xian Pu held Ryouga's face again. "You. Kiss me." Xian Pu demanded before connecting her lips with Ryouga's again.

Ryouga felt her male urges kick in this time. Holding Xian Pu tightly, she kissed her back. Xian Pu's long dishevelled hair sprawled around her.

Ranma gulped as he watched the girls go at it. "(Shit. This is pretty hot.)" Ranma wiped his drool. Keeping his boner in check, Ranma enjoyed the shape of their breasts brushing each other under the fabric. "(Argh. This is too damn good...)" Ranma tried to walk away and calm himself down, but found himself unable to move.

By this time, Ryouga and Xian Pu had already finished their third kiss. Xian Pu was pretty unsatisfied, though. She wanted more... Something better, stronger.

Reaching for Ryouga's shirt, she tried to pull it off, but was stopped by Ryouga's hand.

"Hey, wait a sec. We can't do this!" Coming to her senses, Ryouga pushed her away gently.

'Ryouga, you moron!' Ranma fumed. 'Just do it!'

"Why? Do you not... like me?" Xian Pu looked at her sadly.

"W-well... I guess I do, but..."

"Then there's no problem! Take it off!" Xian Pu tried again.

'Yeah!' Ranma cheered. 'Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it...!'

"I said no!" Ryouga stopped Xian Pu again. "We barely even know each other!"

Xian Pu's eyebrow twitched angrily. "Well, you certainly didn't seem to mind kissing someone you didn't know!"

"Hey! You were the one who kissed me!" Ryouga argued.

"You kissed me back!" Xian Pu countered.

"I did not!" Ryouga lied.

"Don't lie to me! What, did you magically decide to violate my mouth? Do you take me for an idiot?!"

"W-w-well..." Losing the argument, Ryouga decided to change the subject. "You shouldn't have jumped on me in the first place anyway!"

"What! Why, you..."

Ranma groaned in boredom. "(I wish they'd end this lovers' quarrel and get it on already. What a boner killer.)" He looked at the bucket of water, suddenly remembering it. "(Oh, yeah... I forgot about this thing.)"

Lifting it again, he walked back casually. Passing by the oblivious couple, he immediately started Ryouga's portable stove.

"(That should do it.)" Ranma placed a kettle filled with water and turned his attention back to the two girls. "(Oh, man. They're still at it?)"

"Besides!" Ryouga was shouting now. "Go fulfil your homosexual fantasies elsewhere! I'm the wrong person for you."

Xian Pu looked away from her. "So that's it..."

"Eh?" Ryouga blinked at her sad expression in confusion.

"You don't care about me, do you? It's because you have him, isn't it?"

'_Him_?' Ranma and Ryouga wondered simultaneously.

"(This is getting interesting...)" Ranma mumbled to himself.

"What... the hell are you talking about?" Ryouga asked, baffled.

"Don't play dumb! The guy you were with earlier."

It took Ryouga a few seconds to register what she was saying. "Eh? EHH?!" Her face twisted in disgust.

Ranma shared her sentiments. "(Me and Ryouga?)" Ranma grimaced. "(Eww, yuck!)"

"You think Ranma and I are... Eww. Are you out of your mind?"

"Am I wrong?" Xian Pu asked, confused at Ryouga's reaction.

"Yes! You got it all wrong!!"

"Yeah, he's right." Ranma agreed.

Ryouga and Xian Pu jumped at Ranma's sudden appearance.

"(S-Saotome! How long have you been here?)" Ryouga demanded.

"(Oh.)" Ranma grinned. "(You could say from the beginning.)"

"(Ah, jeez, you spying bastard!)" Ryouga growled.

"(You put off a good show, too. Too bad you didn't continue.)"

"(Hey, I'm not about to have lesbian sex with someone I barely know, okay? So just shut it, Saotome.)"

"(Barely know? I was under the impression you guys knew each other pretty damn well.)" Ranma crossed his arms.

"Argh!" Xian Pu cried in frustration. "Cut the moonspeak and say something I can understand!" She glared at them in annoyance.

"Ah, right. Sorry." Deciding to ignore Ranma, he turned back to Xian Pu. "So, uh, Shampoo, was it?"

"It's Xian Pu." She corrected the other girl.

"That's what I said, Shampoo."

"Not Shampoo, Xian Pu!" Xian Pu tried again.

"Uh, yeah. Shampoo."

"I said Xian Pu!"

"That's right; Shampoo. I'm sounding like a broken record here."

Ranma looked back and forth between them in amusement.

"Xian Pu!"

"Shampoo."

"Xian Pu!"

"Shampoo."

"Xian- Argh, whatever!" Xian Pu held her head. "Call me whatever you want."

"So yeah, Shampoo," Ryouga finally said, earning an annoyed look from Xian Pu. "Why'd you come all the way here for anyways?"

"To declare her undying love for her true love?" Ranma smirked.

"(Bugger off, Saotome!)" Ryouga spat in response.

"(Yeah, yeah.)" Ranma decided to stay quiet and walked back to the kettle, figuring it should be ready by now.

Looking depressed, Xian Pu averted her eyes from Ryouga. "I was ordered by the village elders to find and kill you."

"Wait. What? Why would you do that? What did I do?"

Ranma checked the kettle and listened in mild interest.

"W-well..." Xian Pu hesitated for a moment.

Ranma picked up the kettle and casually walked back.

"Our village laws say that once a member is beaten in combat by a female outsider, one must give the outsider the Kiss of Death and kill her."

"Oh. Interesting law you have there." Ryouga brushed the back of her head in mild surprise. Ryouga almost sighed in relief when she remembered that Xian Pu didn't know about the curse. Maybe Ryouga would be able to get rid of her later using that fact...

Xian Pu shied away from their looks and stared at the ground. "I have failed to do both, and if I go back to the village now...

"Hold on, toots. You say female outsider and stuff, but I don't get it." With kettle in hand, Ranma gave her a confused look.

Xian Pu raised her head to look at pony-tailed boy.

"What does that have to do with Ryouga? He's no girl." Ranma said without thinking.

"...What?" Xian Pu widened her eyes.

"(Ranma, you bozo!)" Ryouga sweated nervously. "(Keep your fucking mouth...)"

"See?" Ranma interrupted Ryouga's insult and splashed her with the newly heated water.

Xian Pu mouth gaped at the display before her. The girl from a moment ago transformed into a man within an instant.

"Ranma, you..." Ryouga held his head, frustrated. "You idiot."

"What?" Ranma looked between the two. "What I do?"

"You're... actually a man?"

Ryouga backed away slightly. "Uh, yeah..." Ryouga nervously admitted. "I got this curse at Jusenkyo the other day. Sorry to disappoint you." Ryouga gulped. 'Oh, man. She's really gonna kill me now.'

Then, Xian Pu did something unexpected; she smiled at Ryouga. "Now I don't have to kill you!" Xian Pu jumped at him with a hug.

"Huh? What? I don't get it."

"See, man? What I tell ya?" Ranma stood there, looking proud at his accomplishment. A bit too proud, maybe.

Xian Pu let him go and began to explain. "On the other hand, if it's a male outsider, he has to marry rather than get killed."

"Oh, I see." Ryouga relaxed. "That's good..." Ryouga paused for a second. "...WHAT?! I have to marry you?!"

Xian Pu smiled brightly and nodded. "So I get too keep you!" She hugged him again.

"Aw, Ryouga, you sly dog, you!" Ranma gave Ryouga's back a mighty slap, causing him to choke on his saliva.

"That's not funny, Saotome!!" Ryouga exploded. "I'm not ready to get married yet!"

"Not ready? So you won't mind waitin' for that later, right?"

"That's not what I meant!" Ryouga felt getting light-headed when Xian Pu increased her strength. "Ack! Let me go! I can hardly breathe!"

Xian Pu released him from her clutches. "Ah, all right. I don't want to kill my husband now!" She exclaimed sweetly.

"Hey now, you..." Ryouga rubbed his neck.

Ranma tugged on Ryouga's shoulder. "I feel bad about ruining your parade, Ryouga, but can we eat something _now_? I'm _starving_."

Ryouga looked back at him for a moment before his stomach growled in agreement. "Yeah; that's a good idea. Food first, marriage crap later."

"I will help you cook then!" Xian Pu jumped to her feet excitedly.

--------------------------------------

To be continued...

--------------------------------------

Authors' Notes:

**Dark Master Schmidt:** Oh goody! We finally update! To be quite honest, I planned to make this chapter twice as long as it is now, but then I thought, "What the hell, I'll end it here."

Also, bitching about it constantly to Nuvares was a good idea. You guys should try it, too! It gets fics done faster. (That may backfire, though...)

I may be able to work on this more often now, too, especially after I have discontinued most of my other fics. With F/en now on hold too, due to lack of interest on the readers' part, so to speak, I'll have more time for this and my other collaborative works.

**Nuvares:** So Ranma dodges a bullet? Or is the gun cocked and ready to bear down on the martial artist turned falcon? What will happen when Xian Pu finds out the nature of her airen's friend/rival? Find out next time..... next time being whenever Schmidt can get me to write.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer:

**Dark Master Schmidt:** I don't own Ranma; if I did, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction. The only thing I own is the story, which is not entirely mine, either, anyway...

**Nuvares:** Yeah, what he said.

"..." Chinese.

"(...)" Japanese.

'...' Thoughts.

The Wild Falcon

By

Dark Master Schmidt

& Nuvares

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Chapter 4: Hell vs. Reality

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Ryouga stared at the night sky with an irritated look on his face. The day's events were finally over; that meant that he could relax for change, even though it was only going to last until tomorrow.

Lying on the grass, he watched the sky without much interest. A pair of ear buds hung from his ears, and Nakashima Mika's singing voice pierced through his skull. The music helped him calm down, but that wasn't nearly enough.

Ryouga had a problem. It was a very big problem; an enormously big problem, and he was at the centre of it. No, he'd better scratch that. He had several big problems.

The first problem was the Jusenkyo curse. That was pretty much the source of his problems. If only he could somehow get rid of it... Now that Ryouga thought about it, he never attempted to do something like that. But even if he wanted to, how would he do that? Maybe he should go back to Jusenkyo and ask that... guide, or whatever he called himself.

The cursed form seemed to... make people get attracted to him. Apparently, it only worked on women for some annoying reason. Not that he wanted attraction from males, of course. On the other hand, did it really not work with males? Ryouga never really got the chance to 'test it' out on men long enough. There was Ranma, but he tended to act like an idiot, so it was kind of hard to tell... Well, that was his second problem.

And thirdly, he had Shampoo. Ryouga cringed at that thought. That was technically an extension of the second problem, but it was big enough to warrant a column of its own. Ryouga had somehow gotten himself engaged—or was it married?—to a girl within a few minutes of interaction with her. While it sounded good on paper, that was most definitely _not_ a good thing.

She was pretty adamant about the whole marriage thing. From yesterday's conversation, it seemed that beating a woman of Joketsuzoku in combat is a declaration of marriage. Moreover, he had no idea how to get rid of her; it was as if she was superglued to him... Annoying, but it was better than death at least, which was the alternative.

Fourthly and finally, there was the problem of Ranma himself. Ryouga found Ranma, but now what? He wanted to fight him; to settle the score between them, but that bastard was too weak. Ranma's been training again, but he still wasn't the same. Ryouga couldn't fight him in that state, he had to wait, and it was frustrating. The Ranma he longed to beat the crap out of was in front of him, but he couldn't touch him.

"(Shit.)" Ryouga turned to his side, leaning on his fist. He was in a bad mood, and it could only worsen after seeing Ranma's approaching figure.

Munching on a chocolate bar, Ranma walked towards the other boy. "(Hey, Ryouga, what's up?)"

"(What do _you_ want?)" Ryouga frowned.

"(Jeez, what's with that attitude?)" Ranma took another bite. "(Comff on. Ai'n we badiesh?)"

"(Don't chew and speak at the same time, you moron,)" Ryouga reproved.

Ranma swallowed before speaking again. "(I said, 'Come on. Ain't we buddies?')"

"(Buddies?)" Ryouga looked disgusted. "(Maybe in bizzaro world, Saotome, but not on earth.)"

"(Come on, man. That's kinda harsh.)" Ranma waved his hand innocently, consuming more chocolate.

Ryouga sat up, crossing his arms. "(Ditch the stupid act, Saotome. I know you want something. Just spit it out.)"

"(You can tell?)" Ranma blinked. "(In that case, you got any more of this stuff?)" He pointed at the chocolate bar. "(I really like this. I found it in your tent, by the way. Didn't think you'd care.)"

Ryouga grumbled something in annoyance under his breath. He grabbed his MD player and got up. "(Screw you, Saotome. I'm going to sleep.)" He headed into his tent, ignoring the confused Ranma.

"(Hey, what'd I do?)" Ranma scratched the back of his head and took the last bite of the chocolate bar. "(Stupid Ryouga.)" He searched through his pocket and pulled out a box of Pocky. Of course, the chocolate bar wasn't the only thing he took.

Ranma went back to sit in front of the campfire, all the while stuffing his face with Ryouga's snacks, and started to think.

Ranma didn't know what to do. He came to China all because of his stupid old man, and now he had no idea where the hell he ran off to. Moreover, a lot seemed to happen as he stayed in China.

For one thing, he stumbled into his old junior high buddy, Ryouga. Of all places to meet, it had to be China. What a coincidence it was. Ranma wondered why Ryouga was here to begin with. He forgot to ask. At any rate, he decided to stick with Ryouga for now, who didn't seem too happy about it. Now that he thought about it, where the heck was Ryouga heading? They looked to be travelling aimlessly from one spot to another. It was almost as if Ryouga lost the purpose of his life once Ranma found him at Herb's place.

Ranma almost forgot about Herb for a second. Ranma wasn't sure how Prince Boy would react once he found out that he was human. Maybe he should drop by for a surprise visit later once Ryouga cooled off his head again.

On the subject of surprises, how would Shampoo react if she found out about Ranma's curse? That was a good question that Ranma probably didn't want the answer to. He had better be careful about that; Shampoo proved that she could be dangerous when she wanted to be. It was a good thing they didn't meet with his father around. Who knew what would have been the result of that?

"(Stupid old man, dragging me to stupid China...)"

Ranma chewed harshly on the biscuit sticks. Thinking about his father made him feel irritated. He really wanted to punch him in the face, repeatedly. Wouldn't that feel great...? Where the heck was he anyway?

"Ranma?" A female voice suddenly called out to him. Speak of the devil.

"Oh, hey, Shampoo." Ranma took notice of her nervous approach. "What's up?"

"I was kind of wondering..." Shampoo twirled her index fingers around each other.

"I'm listening." Ranma gestured for her to sit.

Shampoo took the empty spot next to him and said, "I was wondering if you knew how I would make my husband like me? Because he seems kind of... I Don't know..."

'Why the heck are you asking me?' Ranma looked at her wryly.

"What?" Shampoo looked embarrassed. "Did I say something weird?"

"No, it's not that..." Ranma thought for a moment. "I have a great idea." He grinned.

"What is it?" Shampoo piped.

"Come here for a sec." Ranma gestured for her to come closer. As she did, he whispered something into her ear.

"Seriously?!" Shampoo almost yelled. "I don't know; that seems kind of bold..." She replied calmly this time.

"Nah." Ranma waved that possibility off. "Ryouga's just a shy guy. I'm sure he's gonna _love_ it!"

"Hmm, okay," Shampoo agreed. "I'll give it a shot." She quickly ran off towards Ryouga's tent.

Ranma smiled at Shampoo's retreating figure. He was going to enjoy whatever the outcome of his handiwork generated.

His smile quickly turned into a frown. Where the hell was he going to sleep now?! Ranma thought too fast for his own good... Shampoo had her own tent, but he didn't think she'd like it if he used it. Ranma turned his head, spotting a bucket filled with water.

Ranma sighed.

---

Ryouga cracked open an eye at sunrise. He immediately contemplated ditching his usual morning routine in favour for more sleep in order to avoid the inevitable chaos of the day. On the other hand, there was no avoiding the inevitable, so might as well wake up. He crawled out of his warm blanket, but stopped before getting out of his tent. Something didn't feel right. For one thing, his blanket was warmer than usual. Ryouga was pretty sure a blanket couldn't generate that much heat.

For another thing, why the heck was he shirtless? Ryouga definitely didn't take off his shirt last night. Before he could look for his shirt, he finally felt that something was under his hand.

"(What the heck is this?)" He lifted a piece of fabric. It took him a few blinks to realise what it was. Stretching it with his other hand, it became apparent that it was a bra. A rather girlish bra at that.

Ryouga slowly put it back where he found it. He sank his face into the palm of his hand and took a deep breath. He took another deep breath. "(Okay, Ryouga,)" he started. "(I'm pretty sure there's a perfectly good explanation as to why I'm half naked and why I have lingerie in my tent.)" Ryouga began to think. "(Right? There just _has_ to be one!)"

Ryouga looked around for his answers. With the correct intent this time, he managed to spot his shirt and a bunch of other clothes that _seemed_ familiar. "(What the heck?)"

Before he could move to check on the clothes, he found that his blanket began to stir. Wait, blankets didn't move! Within a moment, Shampoo's head popped up for underneath. "Good morning." She yawned.

Ryouga mentally kicked himself for not noticing her earlier. "Good morning?!" He exploded. "What do you think you're doing here?!"

"What do you mean?" Shampoo asked in response as she sat up. "Isn't it natural for a wife to sleep next to her husband?" The cover slid off, revealing her marvellous figure; her topless figure. Actually, it was pretty obvious that she wasn't wearing any pants, either. Shampoo stretched her body to get the sleepiness out of her system. As she did so, the laws of physics proceeded to bounce her perfect jugs like sweet jelly.

As much as Ryouga wanted to respond to that, he couldn't. Instead, he crawled against his tent and wailed like a little girl. "What, but- I- Why-"

His wannabe spouse purred and slowly approached in all fours. "Maybe you're interested in more than sleep?" Shampoo asked sweetly.

Ryouga finally found his words and managed to retort. "Why- what the hell do you think you're doing in my tent and completely in the nu- ...nu-"

"What are you talking about?" Shampoo smiled. "I'm still wearing this." She shook her petite butt, having Ryouga notice her only piece of clothing left.

Somehow, Shampoo's transparent black knickers made Ryouga feel worse. Seriously, why was someone of her age wearing something like _that_? How did she get her hands on it anyway? But, Ryouga had less time to think and more time to feel.

Shampoo was finally directly in front of him. She tangled her arms around his neck, give him a good feel of her soft round breasts on his hard muscled chest. With her face close, Ryouga could feel her hot breath on his face.

"Isn't it about time we took the next step?" She giggled, playing with his hair.

"Ne- next step? More like the next leap!" Ryouga shifted uncomfortably. "I said no the last time!"

Shampoo frowned. "You're a man now, aren't you? There are no excuses this time."

Ryouga looked like he was about to object further, but his voice of reason called out to him.

"_Haha! She's right, Ryouga!"_ A chibi Ryouga with nasty horns and a tail popped on his left shoulder. _"As a man, you must take this chance! No one in his right mind should refuse!"_ Ryouga's inner evil advised.

"_That's preposterous! Don't listen to him, Ryouga!"_ Another chibi version of himself appeared on his right shoulder, this one had angelic white wings and a halo, though. _"Don't let such rotten thoughts consume you! You must be strong."_ Ryouga's conscious encouraged.

"_What does he know! He's just a goody two shoes that doesn't know what's best for you."_

"_Yes, I do! Ryouga, you shouldn't do this! What would your parents think? You must wait until you reach the proper age and get married."_ Good Ryouga argued.

"_What, marriage?"_ Evil Ryouga laughed. _"In this day and age?! That's hilarious material right there! Don't you know that sexual activity is necessary for a good relationship?"_

"_What?! R-Really?"_ Good Ryouga asked sceptically.

"_Of course!"_ Evil Ryouga sighed. _"Don't you know anything? Sex is important to any healthy relationship, you can't go anywhere without it."_

Good Ryouga nodded. _"I see."_ He moved forward and extended his arm. Evil Ryouga did the same and took his hand. They shook in agreement. _"We agree on something for once then."_

Evil Ryouga grinned and turned to Ryouga. _"Now that that's settled. Get on and do it already, Ryouga!"_

"_Good luck!"_ Good Ryouga cheered. _"And don't forget to wear protection!"_

The two finally went poof and out of existence, leaving Ryouga with an annoyed look. Even his conscious had betrayed him! That son of a bitch! What a gullible bastard! Crying in frustration, he tried to move away from Shampoo. She was glued to him with amazing strength, so he only managed send himself along with her to lie on the solid ground.

"Oh, so you like this position better?" Shampoo sweetly asked on top of him. She never gave him a chance to answer and sealed his lips with a kiss. The fact that he responded was a good sign to her. Shampoo was finally winning him over.

Ryouga cursed at himself mentally as he returned the kiss. He was starting to get aroused, there was no denying it. He needed to do something before he'd completely submit to Shampoo.

Shampoo wasn't going to let him do that, though. Breaking the kiss, she took hold of Ryouga's head and shoved it right into her soft mushy breasts, giggling frantically. She slowly began moving her chest, rubbing her tits all over his face. As she did so, Shampoo unconsciously began rubbing her entire body against Ryouga's.

Ryouga didn't really know what he was feeling at the moment, but his unearthly desires regrettably didn't want it to stop. Shampoo continued to rub her smooth skin against all over his body. She let out a soft moan as she did one long sweep, and he finally felt her crotch across the wet fabric reach his stomach and advance onto his chest. Wait, wet? Ryouga couldn't give that much thought, as Shampoo has already landed on his lips. She then moved back in the opposite direction, giving Ryouga the chance to lick his lips, tasting the sweet juice Shampoo had left all over himself.

Shampoo finally stopped just below his belly. She raised herself above Ryouga with her arms set on the ground and giggled. The edges of her erect nipples could slightly touch his bare chest, adding to his discomfort.

Ryouga didn't know if Shampoo's giggles were naturally erotic or she did that intentionally; whatever it was, it made him feel uncomfortable. What she was about to say had nothing on that, though.

"Would you like to pop my cherry?" she whispered with her mignon lips.

Ryouga stood like never before.

---

Ranma groaned as he stirred on the hard ground. He forcibly shut his eyes and turned around, and then turned back. He finally cried in frustration and sat up. "(Shit. I can't get any sleep.)" He rubbed his eyes and yawned loudly. The aching bones on his back, shoulders, and neck drove him crazy. He really should have taken that sweet and nice bucket on its offer and occupied a tree.

Ranma stood up and did some stretches. "(Ow, ow...)" He massaged his shoulders. Some workout may do the trick, he figured. He took a deep breath and relaxed his tense body. Just before he could begin a simple kata, his stomach complained. Ranma was hungry.

Food always came first.

"(Where's pretty face when you need him?)" Looking around, Ranma trudged lazily and scratched his butt. Ryouga was usually up early, if not always. As he rubbed his eyes, he tripped on something and fell. Ranma figured it was a bucket, since there was a splash, not to mention that he got himself wet.

"Kueh!" Ranma struggled to get out of his shirt. 'Oh, great.' Ranma thought scornfully. 'And here I was calling it sweet and nice. That backstabber! I take it back!'

Ranma finally got himself out of his clothes. He took some quick bird steps towards Ryouga's tent. If Ryouga was not around, then he should be in there. That Ryouga wouldn't dare walk too far away from his camp. Once close enough, Ranma started to hear some voices. If he could smile with his beak, he probably would have done that.

"Stop! Shampoo, stop that! You're squeezing too hard!" came Ryouga's shout. He sounded flustered.

"Oooh! You like that, don't you?" came Shampoo's exclaim. She sounded excited.

Ranma stopped and blinked. Suddenly, he remembered his conversation with Shampoo from last night. Unfortunately, Ranma couldn't grin, either. He wanted to take a look.

Ranma quickly went to the tent's side and tried to take a peek. 'Holy shit.' Ranma's eyes nearly boggled out of their sockets. Inside, he could see a naked Shampoo all over Ryouga, literally. Ranma couldn't see much, though. She was giving him her back...

Ranma fidgeted a little bit, trying to get a better look. Unfortunately, he accidentally flipped the tent's covers a bit too much. Sunlight flickered inside the tent for a brief moment, but it was enough to draw the attention of both of them.

Shampoo turned her head towards Ranma slightly, and Ryouga shifted his upper body to take a look.

Ryouga and Shampoo found the head of a nervous-looking falcon staring at them.

Ryouga eyes lit up in anger. 'Saotome?! That son of a bitch! How dare he see me in this humiliating situation?! I ought to cook him for dinner!'

"You!!" Shampoo yelled before Ryouga could. "I'll kill you!!"

'Oh, shit!' Ranma cursed in his head and got the hell out of there.

Shampoo grabbed a shirt randomly, which happened to be Ryouga's, and went after the retreating falcon as she wore it.

Ryouga sat up calmly in mild confusion and sighed. "(I'm saved...)" Something inside him felt like it was about to break, though...

He finally got out of is tent to watch the commotion.

Ranma flapped his wings and tried to fly away, but before he could, a giant blade landed right next to him and embedded itself onto the ground, throwing him off balance. Ranma nervously got up again, eyeing the large sword warily. 'How the hell did she find the time to get that?!'

Shampoo grabbed the hilt, carefully pulling the sword. "Hehehehe..." Her eyes gleamed dangerously. Shampoo held the sword above her, about to slash the bird in two. "Revenge!!!"

Ranma narrowly avoided her second slash and ran away.

"You're not getting away this time!" Shampoo followed her prey, never giving him the chance to fly away.

---

Mint eyed his opponent carefully. He blocked a low kick and quickly retreated a safe distance.

"What's wrong?" Lei Fan laughed. "Come and get me, tough guy!" She took some steps forwards and backwards, frustrating Mint.

Mint finally came forward with a jumping kick. Lei Fan smirked, parrying his kick and grappled him onto the hard ground, knocking him out.

"Perfect!" the TV flashed.

Mint dropped the controller in frustration. "I can't believe it!"

"Wow, 9‒0 and all perfects. You're pretty good at this," Lime commented at the victorious woman.

"Of course." She smiled smugly. "I'm the undefeated champion of the local arcade at our nearest town."

"Sounds exciting!" Lime brightened. "Hey, Mint! Let me try playing her."

"No!" Mint held the controller tightly. "I'm not giving up till I win!"

Lime frowned. "You're never going to win. Just let me try!"

"I don't wanna!" Mint rolled around like a big baby.

Lime grumbled. "Oh, fine. But just this one time!" He finally agreed.

Mint glared daggers at Lei Fan. "I'm not going to lose this time!"

Lei Fan simply rolled her eyes in response.

---

The Ghosts and Goblins theme song played loudly from the hand-held device as Ryouga fiddled with it furiously. He had been at the first stage for a while; the fact that it wasn't long was frustrating.

"(Stupid gargoyles! Die!)" Ryouga mashed the buttons in exhilaration. He was going to finish arcade mode even if it took him...

The death tune and game over music suddenly took over.

"(Shit!!)" Ryouga nearly split his piece of electronics in two, but managed to calm himself down. He shifted his attention back to Ranma and Shampoo and found them still playing their game of deadly tag. Initially, Ryouga had enjoyed the show with an amused look, but it quickly got boring after the first 15 minutes.

Ryouga blinked as they both stopped to catch their breath for a moment. Ranma was the first to recover and took the chance to fly away. Shampoo soon followed after spewing some Chinese curses that didn't happen to be a part of his vocabulary yet.

Ryouga shrugged and pressed start.

---

Liang hit it off with his other two partners at the local pub. Actually, his partners were totally smashed at the moment, so he was enjoying the peace and quiet for a change.

"Ah, my love!" Chen wailed in a sudden outburst, but slumped back onto the table, in a loud snore.

So maybe it wasn't that quiet... On the other hand, Chen's train of thought wasn't that far off from his own. That woman had been occupying his mind for the past few days. She was quite the mysterious one...

"Liang!"

Liang looked up and found an older man heading his way.

"Ah, Mr. Wong." Liang smiled. "It is good of you to join us."

"I wouldn't dream of passing up this opportunity," Wong answered back and took a seat at their table. "Did I miss a party or something?" he asked, indicating at Chen and Shui.

"Not...quite." Liang sighed.

Wong simply laughed his own inquiry off. "So, what's new?"

"Not a lot to be frank." Liang gulped from his cup.

"That's it? We finally get to sit and talk and that's all you have to say?" Wong grumbled. "Didn't you get to meet a woman or something?"

Liang raised an eyebrow at that. "As a matter of fact, I did," he answered honestly.

"Oh?" Wong urged him to continue.

"Quite the mysterious girl, she was. She completely baffles me."

"What's that supposed to mean? Wong asked in confusion. "You mean she's too pretty?"

"Indeed." Liang put down his glass loudly. "Rather than simply pretty, she was much beyond that. She was stunning, so to speak."

"Sounds like an amazing girl." Wong looked at him seriously. "But you seem disturbed. What's the problem?"

"That is exactly the problem." Liang disdained. "Someone like her should be very popular. The fact the nobody knows her is concerning. Moreover, she gave me a Japanese name."

"Japanese?"

"Yes. Her Chinese was also very poor."

Wong frowned. "Yes, that is pretty weird."

"Indeed. That's a very interesting story." A woman's voice made them blink in surprise.

Wong was the first to respond. "Oh, Miss Kiima..."

"Please." She joined them at their table. "Tell me more..."

---

A small figure slumped around the woods in a daze. The little girl held her support stick tightly to the ground to regain her balance. She was tired to the bone, famished, and probably lost, too. Who would have thought that tracking one person could be so difficult? Plum certainly didn't!

Over the river, through the woods, to his side she went. But how much further did she need to go?!

Plum sighed. She had run out of food not too long ago. She needed to find a village or a town, or _anything_. Otherwise, she would starve to death. She just needed to decide on a direction to pick. Plum worked the the gears in her tiny head. Those very gears reminded her of something important, though.

Plum frowned. She lacked the money to properly feed herself. She was doomed.

No! Plum would definitely get through this! She would meet the person who stole her heart, and there was nothing in this whole world that could stop her. Plum stood confidently.

Maybe.

Plum sighed again and trudged forward.

---

The dragon prince was having a bad day. For one, his mentors had been chewing him off like used bubblegum from morning until afternoon. Thank the heavens he finally finished dealing with them. For another... He now had his advisers to deal with.

Herb fidgeted uncomfortably on his large chair. Apparently, his advisers had something of utmost importance and had to summon his royal presence into the meeting hall. Unfortunately, he didn't like what they had to say.

"My lord," one of them suddenly started. "It is very obvious that Joketsuzoku and those wretched bird men are up to something."

"Indeed," a second adviser agreed. "We must take action! Two scout teams must be sent immediately to both territories, and-"

"Have you lot gone utterly mad?" Herb interrupted. "Doing that may provoke both tribes, and we do not even have solid proof. Are you trying to start a civil war?"

"But my prince," one of the old advisers calmly replied. "It would still be unwise to simply ignore the matter. Besides, it's only going to be a simple scouting trip, no hostile activity would take place."

"It is still too risky," Herb maintained. "Our soldiers are not well-versed on handling matters outside our walls. There is no telling what could happen."

"With all due respect, your highness, you worry too much. Our soldiers will be given special instructions beforehand. What could possibly happen?"

Herb wanted to groan. That kind of attitude was exactly what brought trouble. It was going take hours before a decision would be made at this rate.

---

Ranma flew back to where their camp was. He somehow managed to lose Shampoo; all he had to do now was change back before she got back. Ranma quickly spotted Ryouga and made a hasty descend at top speed.

"(Yes, yes! Almost...)" Ryouga was too busy fiddling with his game to notice the bird heading straight to him. "DIE- Urmph!"

In his haste, Ranma crashed violently right into Ryouga's face, sending Ryouga on his back.

"(Shit, no!)" Ryouga quickly got up and faced the small screen, only to find "Game Over" splattered all over it.

Ranma shook his small head and looked at Ryouga as he got up. Ranma hoped he didn't hit Ryouga too hard, because he looked like he was having some sort of seizure.

"(Fuck!)" Ryouga cried out. "(Fuck! _Fuck_!! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!)" Ryouga thrashed around in a mad burst of frustration and banged his head, arms and legs on the hard ground. He quickly got up, and in blind rage, cried out whilst holding his head and unsteadily ran, ramming his head into a tree like a mad bull. Unsatisfied with ending its life, Ryouga charged into another tree, knocking it down. Ultimately, he got to his knees and yelled towards the heavens.

Ryouga had finally done it; he had finally attained the pinnacle of human frustration, and it didn't feel too hot.

Ranma stood still on his spot, frozen. He was freaked, but Ranma finally got the sense to back up slowly from the enraged boy. He was unsure as to what to do; he had never seen Ryouga like this before. On the other hand, he really needed to change back before Shampoo actually got to him, so had to do _something_.

Fortunately, Ryouga seemed to calm down as he sat back and started to grumble scornfully. "(I don't believe it... So close...)" He finally fixed his eyes on the frozen falcon and frowned. "(Oh, it's you,)" he simply said. Ryouga went into his tent for a moment and came out wearing a shirt and with a canteen in one hand. He opened it, spilling a portion of its contents on the bird's head.

Ranma blinked with his human eyes. "(Thanks...)" He muttered, unsure how to react.

Ryouga placed the canteen aside and sat in front of the nude boy. "(Saotome, you have some explaining to do.)"

"(Heh, I guess I do.)" Ranma figured he was talking about the deal with Shampoo. "(It's kinda a long story.)"

"(I think I have the time,)" Ryouga urged.

"(Well, it all started when me and pop-)"

"(For crying out loud, Saotome!)" Ryouga scowled. "(Have some dignity and put some clothes on first!)"

"(Oops. I forgot.)" Ranma got up and went for his borrowed clothes. They were still cold, but not wet enough to trigger his curse again.

Ryouga rolled his eyes as Ranma hopped with one foot, trying to put his pants on. Ranma successfully put his left leg in, but he found his right foot get stuck on the back pocket. Ranma lost his balance and fell on his back.

Ryouga looked in surprise with wide eyes for moment. Within seconds, he burst out laughing at he display.

"(Oh, shut up,)" Ranma yelled in annoyance. He quickly finished and came back to his previous spot. "(Okay, Ryouga. You just have to promise not to tell Shampoo about this.)"

"(About what?)"

"(About my curse, you dolt.)"

Ryouga scowled. ("Why the hell do I have to help you? You certainly didn't give two shits when you told Shampoo about mine.)"

"(Oh, man.)" Ranma grumbled. "(You still not over that?)"

"(No,)" he bluntly replied.

"(Jeez. Just promise me, okay? This is important.)"

"(Oh, whatever. Fine.)" Ryouga reluctantly agreed. "(I promise. Just spit it out already.)"

Ranma finally smirked at Ryouga's submission. "(Well-)"

"(Go heat some water while you're at it,)" Ryouga interrupted.

Ranma's smirk turned into a frown as he went to do what he was told. At least he was hungry, so might as well do it.

---

Plum breathed weakly as she crawled on the ground. "H-he...lp..." She muttered weakly. Her voice barely had any volume to it. Her throat was so dry, speaking was painful.

Pushing her small body along the dirt, Plum looked around for any signs of civilisation, people, _anything_. But even if there was anything out there that would save her, her vision was too blurry to take notice of it.

Her small figure finally slumped to a halt, as fatigue's raging fist of fury knocked her out into bliss.

"Hey, man. You don't have to be such a sore loser." A much larger figure approached her fallen form.

"I'm not! Just, just shut up, okay? I don't want to talk about it." Another smaller boy walked by his side.

"See? You are being one." The larger boy laughed.

"I said drop it, Lime!" Mint scowled. It was bad enough when he lost to that Joketsuzoku woman, but he felt just awful when Lime beat him later, too. At least Lime couldn't beat her, either. That made him feel slightly better, but not by much.

Looking away from his partner, Mint came to a sudden stop. "Lime, look!"

Lime turned to find Mint pointing at something. "What is it?"

"I think it's a person." Mint edged closer to the fallen figure. "Looks like it's a girl," he said upon closer inspection.

Lime poked her with a stick. "Is she dead?"

Mint sweatdropped at his actions. "Stop that!" He slapped away Lime's stick. "She's breathing." Mint flipped her on her back and looked her over.

"Hmm." Lime knelt next to her. "I haven't seen a little girl before," he commented.

"Me neither."

Lime reached with his hand and rubbed her face. "Her skin feels nice..."

Mint quickly slapped Lime's hand away. "Stupid, don't do that!" he yelled angrily. "You need to be more gentle..." Mint gently rubbed her small delicate face. It _did_ feel nice...

Lime grumbled something under his breath. "So what should we do?"

Mint stopped what he was doing and turned to face Lime. "Well, we still have patrol duty, but we can't just leave her like this."

"I guess not." Lime took a moment to think. "I say we wrap up already and take her back with us."

"Eh?" Mint looked at the girl and then back to Lime. "We're on duty right now. What if someone is out here?"

"What are the chances of that happening?" Lime countered casually.

"Are you kidding me?" Mint looked astonished. "We just found someone right here!"

"Well, it can't happen twice in a row, can it?" Lime looked proud of his argument, much to Mint's annoyance.

"Tell you what," Mint said with an irritated look, "You take her back while I finish up here. There isn't much left to do anyway."

"Okay, sounds like a plan." Lime nodded.

The two stood there for a few seconds wordlessly looking at each other.

"What the heck are you waiting for? Go already!" Mint yelled.

"Uh, right." Lime grabbed the unconscious girl by her collar.

Mint quickly held Lime's hand before he could lift her up. "Not so rough!" Mint frowned. "You could literally break her in two! Be more gentle." Mint couldn't stress that enough.

"Right." Listening to his partner, Lime switched his hold to under her armpits and slowly lifted her above the ground with minimal strength. He twisted her around a bit before carrying her on his back. "I'm good to go."

Mint nodded. "I'll see you in a little while then."

---

Ranma narrowed his eyes at Ryouga in annoyance. He had just finished telling the other boy his tragic tale moments ago, and Ryouga certainly showed some compassion as he had hoped, but Ryouga's method wasn't exactly how he wanted it expressed.

"(Would you shut up already?!)" Ranma finally exclaimed. "(I regret I ever told you!)"

Ryouga felt like he could die. He rolled, kicked, and punched the ground in sheer hilarity. He was laughing his head off like never before.

"(Oh, but- Hahahaha!)" Ryouga was in too much pain to word his sentences properly. "(That's just- Haha! That's too damn hilarious!)"

Ranma fumed for a minute before finally got pissed off. "(Would you_ quit it_?!)" He punched the hysterical Ryouga in the face.

Ryouga finally stopped. He paused for a moment before feeling his left cheek. "(Thanks. I needed that.)" Ryouga still had an annoying grin, though. "(So let me get this straight,)" he restarted. "(You and your dad get cursed, you decide to desert him of all things, and then you go on spending your time with some Chinese prince or whatever. Of course, and all the while you keep tormenting Shampoo at her village and _stealing_ her things.)"

Ranma nodded. "(That about sums it up, yeah.)"

Ryouga frowned. "(I knew you were a moron, Saotome, but this is really bad. What the hell were you thinking?)"

"(Who you calling a moron?!)" Ranma yelled. "(I already told you,)"

"(Yeah, yeah. You weren't thinking straight and a bunch of other crap.)" Ryouga picked his ear nonchalantly. "(Doesn't stop you from being an idiot.)"

Ranma scowled at Ryouga's response. "(Oh, yeah? At least I'm not the one who's in love with himself!)"

"(What was that?!)" Ryouga looked bewildered at Ranma's retort. "(What the hell is that supposed to mean?)"

"(Think ya can fool me, Ryouga? I've seen how you look at yourself in your cursed form.") Ranma smirked sharply.

Ryouga looked perplexed at his ridiculous claim. "(Sh-Shut up! I am _not_ in love with myself; I'm not some weirdo like you, you pervert!)"

"(What was that, _princess_?)" Ranma sneered at him.

"(You wanna _fight_, Saotome?)" Ryouga sneered back.

"(Whatcha gonna do, pretty face, slap me to death?)" Ranma provoked him with his trademark smirk. "(Or maybe crush me with your tits?)" He laughed as he made fun of him.

Ryouga growled in anger. How dare he make fun of him! He was about lunge at the other boy with a punch to the face, but he had a sudden realisation. Completely disregarding his previous plan, he folded his arms, sat back, and chuckled eerily at his nemesis. Ryouga was going to get back at Ranma, and get him good. "(Oh, I don't know about that...)"

Ranma's smirk was shattered at the lost boy's change in behaviour. He had a bad feeling... "(Wh-What's that supposed to mean?)"

Ryouga looked at him in the eye with a mad expression. "(I don't have to do anything, Saotome. I'll just expose you to Shampoo!)"

"(What?!)" Ranma looked shocked for a moment, but got angry afterwards. "(That's cheating! You just promised not tell!)"

"(I did? Whenever did I do that?!)" Ryouga let out an insanely loud laugh.

Ranma pulled Ryouga by his shirt threateningly. "(This so ain't funny! I'm gonna kill you if you ever tell Shampoo about this!)"

Ryouga only grinned like an idiot in response. "(Not before Shampoo kills you first!)" he exclaimed nonchalantly, causing Ranma to turn pale.

"Have you two seen where that bird went?!" a loud shout interrupted their verbal battle.

The two boys looked at the tired Shampoo before looking back at each other. One smiled while the other frowned.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear!

"Why, Shampoo, it's good to see you back," Ryouga said with a happy look once she got closer, completely disregarding her state of dress in his glee.

Shampoo's expression of irritation suddenly changed to fluster. "You, you are?" She fiddled with her petite fingers.

Ryouga looked between the Chinese girl and the nervous pony-tailed martial artist. "Yeah, because you won't believe what this good for nothing bum just told me." Ryouga eyed his arch nemesis carefully, savouring the situation.

Shampoo, on the other hand, ended her fluster and frowned at the last bit Ryouga mentioned, looking disappointed. "What is it?" she asked without much interest.

Ranma felt a trickle of sweat drop down his face. He shifted the focus of his eyes rapidly between the larger boy and the smaller girl. 'Ryouga, that traitor! He's gonna tell her!' Ranma, of course, wasn't in a perfect state of mind to realise that Shampoo was merely irritated and mistook it for something else. 'And Shampoo looks pissed! Shit, I'm screwed.'

Ranma slowly dragged himself backwards with his hands. He couldn't get far before a strong arm latched around his neck and pulled him to Ryouga's chest.

"You see, good old Saotome here is..." Ryouga paused to look down at Ranma's unsettling eyes and grinned at him when Ranma moved his glance to Shampoo. "...actually not so insensitive for once and said he'd cook us lunch! Isn't that just awesome?!" Ryouga ravished.

Ranma froze like a statue for some moments before releasing air he didn't realise he was holding.

"Yes, that is great..." Shampoo blinked a few times, unsure if she was seeing the whole picture. "So, you mean you need some of my supplies?"

"Yes, that would be helpful." Ryouga finally let Ranma go. "Isn't that right, Saotome?"

"Uh, yeah! That would be great!" Ranma finally stood up, trying to look normal. "Bring whatever I could use and let's get to work!" Ranma quickly dashed to set up everything near the heated water.

"All right," Shampoo agreed. "Just let me change into my clothes first."

The two boys examined her, as if noticing her clothes for the first time. Shampoo was still wearing Ryouga's shirt obviously. On the other hand, it was so big on her, it looked like a weird dress, and the sleeves completely covered her arms, which also rendered her hands invisible. The fact the Shampoo was merely nigh naked thanks to that piece of fabric raised some uneasiness.

"Uh, right." Ranma quickly turned away, continuing to Ryouga's stove.

Ryouga lied down sideways, trying to ignore Shampoo. He rested his head on his right fist as he watched Shampoo move away to her tent at the corner of his eye, and then, once she was far enough, grinned at Ranma's back. "(Yeah, get to work.)"

Ranma looked behind him and gave Ryouga a glare of death. "(You're gonna pay for this later, Ryouga,)" he threatened.

"(I already am. Who do you think paid for the food?)" he asked. "(Now get back to work.)"

Ranma remained eyeing him until he heard Ryouga yell, "Hey, Shampoo!"

Ranma quickly turned around.

"Bring some salt, will you?" Ryouga requested, remembering that he ran out of salt earlier. Of course, he had to do it in way to throw Ranma off. He was enjoying this way too much.

Ranma grumbled a curse as he added more to the water cooking into the pot and dumped some rice in there. He couldn't believe Ryouga was taking advantage of his problem, but Ryouga proved himself to be a gigantic tosspot. Ranma wasn't going to let it just slide, though. He would think of something to get back at him, and when he did, he wasn't going to let him off easily.

Ranma sniggered for a few moments before Ryouga yelled at him.

"(Stop daydreaming and get back to work!)"

Ranma broke out of his train of thought and worked his hands in annoyance. Ranma noted Shampoo placing her bag of salt next to him and a frying pan. He held the frying pan for a moment, looking at it curiously. He placed it down and lifted a small wooden box that happened to be next to the stove. "(What the heck is this?)" Ranma opened it to find what he recognised to be those egg cartons placed upside down. Removing them, he found three eggs placed on another carton with a bunch of cotton around the eggs. 'Must be to prevent them from getting crushed,' Ranma thought.

Ranma put the frying pan to good use and promptly scrambled whatever was left of Ryouga's egg box. He wanted to get this over with quickly. Besides, he was still hungry.

Ryouga smiled at Ranma's back with sheer satisfaction, but frowned afterwards. He couldn't be satisfied yet! Ryouga needed to do more, much more to make the life of his enemy as miserable as possible. But of course, not today. After eating, they were going to need to head to a town to resupply; they were running low on food. That was entirely Ranma's fault, of course. That oaf ate as much as three people by himself. He figured he'd yell at Ranma about it later. There was also the issue of buying new clothes. A few more transformations, and Ryouga would be without any shirts. That was confidential information, though. Who knew what would happen if everybody knew Ryouga was running out of shirts? That would be dangerous information in the wrong hands...

But for now, Ryouga would be too busy eating what would probably be the only meal for this day. Dealing with those issues would come afterwards.

Idly, he reached for his hand-held device to kill the time. Ryouga sat up, turning it on. The game over message greeted him in response. Taking it as a challenge, he scoffed and began to restart the game anew.

"What's this thing?" Shampoo took a peek beside him, attracted by the weird music.

Ryouga glanced at her way in mild nervousness. She was a bit too close for comfort... He could feel Shampoo's hair brush just under his nose as she cocked her head above the screen. Her arm right arm lightly touched his own whilst supporting her weight on the ground.

"It's a game," he simply replied, unsure how to say video game in her language; not that it mattered much. Thankfully, she didn't try to do anything this time. Ryouga tried to ignore her, and he turned back to the object of his attention. The uneasiness Shampoo caused was quickly forgotten as a bearded knight in armour appeared on the screen.

"Hmm, interesting..." Shampoo muttered as Ryouga played. She watched intently as the knight ran and jumped around humorously, fighting a ridiculous horde of monsters and all sorts of vile creatures.

Ranma grumbled something after a quick glance at the couple. They were having fun playing games while he did all the work. The nerve of them!

Ranma ran around preparing some plastic dishes and other culinary tools as the food cooked. Ryouga surprisingly had a lot of junk in his pack that proved to be useful one way or another. He quickly went back to the stove before anything burned.

After several moments of running around between the stove and the dishes, Ranma sighed as everything readily lay before him. He looked away and snorted. "Come an' get it!" he yelled with a very noticeable lack of enthusiasm.

Looking back, Ranma found the couple sitting down in front of him, staring at his cooking.

"That's it?" Ryouga frowned in dissatisfaction. "Rice and eggs? Is that all you could come up with, Saotome?" Of course, Ryouga could not expect any better with the available food, but he had to piss Ranma off somehow. A distraught Ranma made a happy Ryouga.

"What are you complaining at me for?" Ranma yelled back. "Your food selection sucks!"

"Whose fault do you think is that?" Ryouga pointed sharply with his chopsticks. "You ate most of my food!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry, _princess_!" Ranma raised his hands exaggeratedly. "I just don't happen to be as delicate as you are!"

"(Wh, what did you say?!)" Ryouga looked about to shoot lasers out of his eye sockets. "(You looking for a fight, you...you little...?!)"

"Now, now!" Shampoo interjected with a smile. "No need to fight. Let's just eat, okay?" She held his arm to keep him seated.

Ryouga glanced at her, then glowered back at Ranma, and then finally turned to his meal. "Hmph."

Ranma picked his ear and did the same.

"Idiot." Ryouga started.

"Moron." Ranma retorted.

"Feather head."

"Pretty face."

"Bird brain."

"Girlie man."

"Chicken."

"Dairy cow."

Shampoo sighed. The two boys kept throwing insults like immature children. She ignored them and took a bite of the rice. "This rice is a bit undercooked."

"Yeah," Ranma put Ryouga aside for a moment, answering her. "Coulda used a bit more time too cook, but the gas ran out."

Ryouga scratched his head. "Huh? I had more fuel for the stove in my pack."

"All empty." Ranma took a bite.

Ryouga frowned. More reasons to visit a town... "I guess there won't be hot water for some time then." He looked at his rival sharply.

Ranma coughed on his food nervously and tried to ignore him.

The hidden meaning was yet lost to Shampoo's ears.

"Are there any towns nearby?" Ryouga asked Shampoo.

"Hmm..." Shampoo rubbed her index finger on her chin as she tinkered her brain. "The nearest town would be about a week away on foot, but there's a small village a day away from here."

"Good. We'll stop at the village first," he concluded. "We need a place with a bank or stores that accept credit cards, but the village may supply us with enough food for the trip. I don't have much money on me."

"You mean we absolutely ain't got nothing left to eat?" Ranma frowned.

"I have some emergency food in my pack, but that's not intended for three people," Ryouga replied. "And even with that..."

"I have some food," Shampoo suddenly added. "I could share it. There's not much, but it should be enough, yes?"

"That would be good." Ryouga appreciated her offer, much to her delight.

Ranma crossed his arms in mild annoyance; he was starting to feel like a parasite... But a day with hardly any food? That felt like a nightmare. No, no. It was only a day; how hard could it be? Hunger wasn't going to get the best of him. 'No, sir,' he thought.

"Okay, time to head out." Ryouga stood up. "Shampoo and I will take down our tents. Saotome, you put everything back into my pack and make sure the fire is completely dead."

Ranma blinked, registering his instructions. "What, you mean right now?"

"We don't have any time to waste, Saotome, so get moving." Ryouga walked away. "And bring some more water while you're at it."

Ranma reluctantly did as he was told with little to no complaints. He might as well save his breath, as it seemed like it was going to be a long day; a very long day.

---

Herb stomped loudly within the corridors of his majestic palace. He had a frown on his face that looked as if it was engraved on his skull. On the occasion of coming across any of his loyal subjects, they would scatter, standing still like statues until the prince was well away from sight and hearing range.

Not that Herb cared how his servants behaved at the moment. He was in the foulest of moods, and his underlings were the least of his worries.

"Utter fools!" the prince growled. His advisers certainly knew how to annoy him. After hours upon hours of debate, he had agreed to handle the matter himself. Those wretched old men were persistent. Whilst he was against the whole idea of sending troops, it was true that he couldn't completely ignore the issue either.

Herb's ill thoughts were pleasantly interrupted as he neared the door he was heading to.

"No! Stop that! Put it down!" a disorientated yell tore through the door. Some other mindless screaming came afterwards and the sound of something breaking.

"I told you not to mess with me!" It was a cutesy voice this time.

Herb was baffled. Was that a child's voice? Herb's frown deepened even further, if that was even possible. He quickly flung open the door and went in.

The room was complete mess. The beds were unkempt; the curtains were torn; and the floor was covered with food, water, broken glass, and smeared with...something disgusting-looking that the prince would rather not identify. The three stooges in the room continued their parade without regard to the prince, despite his rather noticeable entrance.

His two personal guards were cowering in the corner of the room like pathetic scared mice as a little girl threw apples at them from a basket.

"Stay away from me, you creeps!" she angrily yelled at them.

It was a sight Herb didn't see every day, or any other day for that matter. The prince didn't care enough to savour the occasion, either.

"What in blazes are you fools doing?!" Herb yelled with contempt. The room suddenly quieted down and all eyes were on him.

"P-prince Herb!" Mint was the first to recover, looking nervous. "Um, this is, uh..."

Herb could almost feel his eye sockets shoot arrows. "I do not remember turning this into a daycare centre. Who is this _girl_ and what is she doing inside the palace?!" He pointed at their guest. "Explain yourselves!!"

Lime and Mint quickly scrambled to their feet.

"Uh..." Lime tried to sort his thoughts as Herb waited patiently for his explanation with his arms crossed. "You know how we had patrol duty a while ago? Well, we were walking around to see if everything was okay and stuff. We went from place to place and it was _really_ _boring_ and, well, and Mint was still feeling bummed after getting beat by that Joketsuzoku woman in some video game, so he wasn't much fun chatting with, you know? So I had this plan to try and get him to get over it, and as we-"

"Ugh." Herb ran his hand across his face. "Just get to the point!"

Mint elbowed Lime's side.

"Sir, while we were on duty we found her lying unconscious on the ground and we decided to bring her here. You could say she was a bit...resistant when she woke up, prince," Mint explained thoroughly.

"Hmm." Herb scanned the room once more. "Indeed. And why did you not report this matter to the commanding guard?"

"Oh, you know how that guy is!" Lime waved his hand at the idea. "All trespassers are to be sent off to jail accordingly," he said in a badly mimicked deep voice. "She's just a kid!"

Herb gave the two a glare and they quickly stood still in silence. He turned to the small girl, causing her to step back from his ferocious scowl. But that did not stop Herb from walking towards her. For a few moments, he towered before her scared little figure.

The two boys observed nervously from the edge of their eyes.

"What do you think he's gonna do?" Lime asked, looking worried.

"How should I know?" Mint replied, looking similarly concerned.

Herb swiftly reached out to her and she closed her eyes and cringed, expecting a strike. Instead, she felt something soft rub on her cheek. Cracking an eye open, she found the prince in a crouch, wiping something off her cheek.

"You have something on your face," Herb calmly pointed out, now with a _slightly_ gentler looking face.

Lime and Mint simultaneously released their held breath.

"He scared me there for a moment," Mint told his partner.

Lime simply nodded.

Finished, Herb stood back up and went to face his two servants.

"Now then..." Herb started, and the two listened carefully. "There is going to be a special mission assigned to two teams. I am going to have the two of you to participate in each team."

"What kind of mission, prince?" Mint asked, earning his attention.

"Scouting," Herb crossed his arms. "However, I actually need you two to prevent anyone from doing anything utterly foolish."

"So basically, you want us to lead the two groups and keep an eye on them," Mint concluded.

"Indeed." Herb nodded.

"Sounds kinda fun," Lime perked. "When do we leave?"

"First thing tomorrow morning. Make sure to prepare thoroughly before then." Herb looked about to leave.

"Um, prince?" Mint started innocently.

"Yes?" Herb turned back to Mint.

"What about...her?" Mint sheepishly pointed at their little guest, who looked a bit wary of the attention.

"Hmm?" Herb glanced at her for a moment before going back to Mint. "She..." He paused. "What is her name?"

Mint blinked. "That's a good question."

"What is your name?" Herb asked her.

"Uh, I, um," she looked too lost in her nervousness to answer, but eventually... "P- Plum."

"Come here." Herb gave Plum his left hand.

"Y- Yes..." Plum slowly accepted his open palm.

"I will handle her," Herb turned to his servants before leaving with the girl in hand. "The two of you worry about tomorrow."

As Herb exited past the door, he stopped to look around before yelling, "Guard! Guard!!"

It didn't take long before one arrived in a hurry.

"Yes, prince!" He crouched in respect.

"I will be eating early today. Go tell the cook to prepare something for me and my guest at once."

"H- Her?" The guard stared at Plum.

"Is there a problem?" Herb glowered.

"N- n- no! Right away, prince!" He quickly left running.

"Come." Herb ordered Plum before going on their way, finally leaving Lime and Mint.

"Um..." Lime looked at Mint. "Do you think Prince Herb has a soft spot for kids or something?"

"I wonder..." Mint stared the doorway.

Half a minute passed before quickly turning to each other.

"Nah!" They both brushed the thought out of their heads.

---

Ranma took a large swift leap backwards, not long before a huge stream of raging flames fell down to burn the earth. Ranma steadied himself on solid ground and held the hilt of his sword tightly.

"Prepare yourself, Red Dragon!" Ranma exclaimed bravely at his fearsome adversary. "You ain't takin' me down that easily, you overgrown lizard!"

Ranma in his majestic red armour carefully circled around his foe. The giant red dragon roared in rage before the red knight. The ferocious beast was easily four times the size of the biggest elephants. As if to retort, it spat a speeding fireball from its mouth towards him in contempt.

Ranma barely avoided the second strike with another leap. "Keh!" he grunted as he returned to solid ground. "Time to end this, barbecue breath!"

"Majinken!!" Ranma's sword flickered momentarily as he swung it, sending a wave of destructive energy towards the dragon.

The dragon's massive figure was too slow to avoid the attack and took the blow head on. The creature staggered and roared in agony and anger, leaving itself open to further attacks.

"Heh. That'll teach ya not to mess with me." Ranma smirked.

Not wasting the opportunity he made, Ranma griped his sword and leapt all over the dragon's huge body. Ranma made one final jump from its torso to stab his blade into its left eye socket.

Presented with more pain, the red dragon waved its head around in attempt to shake off the red knight, but Ranma was too stubborn to let go so easily. Eventually, the dragon made the grave mistake of lowering its head. This chance was exactly what Ranma hoped for.

Pulling the sword from where the dragon's eye used to be, the red knight lunged towards the dragon's neck.

"Majinken!!" Ranma slashed with his sword at its neck, giving the dragon the devastating results of Ranma's Majinken at point blank range. The red dragon never felt it; its head was severed immediately from the rest of its body. The red dragon was dead.

"How was that?!" Ranma landed perfectly on his feet, but the ordeal wasn't quite done yet, though. "Oh, shit!" Ranma scowled at the red beast's wobbly figure. He was about to get crushed by the dragon's falling corpse; if nothing was to be done, his victory would have been meaningless.

Ranma quickly worked his feet and tried to run around it. Just before the body completed its fall, Ranma barely leapt to safety.

The crash to earth made a grand noise and rose the dust to a high level.

"That was a close one." Ranma coughed as he waved a hand around the dusty air.

Once the dust finally cleared a few moments later, Ranma put on his smirk and walk over to the headless corpse.

"Heh. Gotcha good there, ya sucker." Ranma stepped with one foot on his trophy. It was a tough beast, but no match for the great Ranma. They didn't call him the Blazing Red Knight of Hell for nothing after all. Ranma had a reputation to live up to and wasn't about to disappoint.

He briefly wondered if dragons were edible...

"Ahem," Ranma cleared his throat with his right fist raised to his mouth. There were more important matters to tend to. He smirked once more and faced a tall tower that he had chose to momentarily ignore in order to battle the dragon.

The thing seemed to stand tall up to 30 metres. Atop it, there was a large balcony occupied by a single person. A beautiful young girl clad in a majestic white dress blessed the red knight with her intent gaze. Her sparkling eyes were more beautiful than diamonds, and her skin seemed purer than the blue skies of the heavens. She had short silky black hair, but most of her large bangs were held firmly by a crown of pure gold. Finally, the grand angelic dark wings on her back marked her as a gift from the gods to the mortals; but sadly, ugly chains of steel bonded them together in a monstrous grip.

"Princess!" Ranma exclaimed. "I have slain the dragon!!" He raised his fist towards her in victory.

Even from such a height, Ranma could still see the princess' happy smile shine rays of light down his soul.

"Sir Knight!" she cheerfully exclaimed her joy.

Ranma sheathed his sword and ditched the slain dragon to stand below her balcony. "You can come down now, princess! It's safe! I whacked 'im good!" Ranma yelled.

"I can't!" The princess responded, twisting her brows. "There is no way down! And I cannot..." She weakly moved her chained wings as if to prove her point.

"Eh," Ranma paused to think. "I know! Princess, jump!"

"What?" The princess looked worried and confused.

"Don't worry! I'll catch ya!" Ranma raised his arms.

Still, his princess couldn't help but to worry. "But...!"

"Trust me!" Ranma waved both hands.

The princess looked down at her knight in contemplation. The warrior's firm confident look eased her. Without hesitation, she stepped on the edge of the balcony and jumped for her freedom. She clutched her dress and tempted to fight the wind to open her eyes.

"Heh. She actually did it," Ranma chuckled, readying himself. He waited patiently for the right moment before elegantly making a massive jump, swooping his princess into his strong arms and landing gently on solid earth.

"Sir Knight!" The princess cheerfully smiled as her knight in shining armour brought her gently to her feet.

"See? I told ya I'll get ya," Ranma said confidently, earning a light chuckle.

The chains on the princess' wings rang against each other as she moved, grabbing Ranma's attention.

"Here, let me get rid of those for you." Ranma moved behind her, and she obliged by lowering her dark wings. He grabbed the chains with his hands and easily ripped them apart. "There you go."

The princess stretched open her grand wings for the first time in what seemed like an eternity. The broken chains slid off of her without hassle. She felt great relief to be finally rid of them.

"Thank you!" She turned to face her saviour with a face of gratitude.

"Ain't nothin' to it!" Ranma smiled back. He really didn't feel like he deserved her thanks. "Just doin' my duty, princess."

"Sir Knight..." The princess shyly closed in on him, finally putting her hands on his hard armour.

Ranma felt his face heat up a bit as she looked at him with her blushed face. His hands automatically placed themselves on her shoulders.

"Princes..." Ranma spoke softly to her.

"Sir Knight..." she responded in a similar tone.

"Princess..." Ranma felt himself edge closer to her face. He didn't know what he was doing; he felt like he was possessed by the demons of the netherworld.

"Sir Knight..." The princess closed her eyes. Soon after, her knight's lips came down to seal her own.

Ranma didn't know what he was doing; he simply let himself follow his instincts. He ascended his hands to hold her face in his palms. Ranma's lips seemed like to have been set ablaze. He felt her glamour sweep into him as she fully accepted his kiss.

Time seemed to stop around them. The only thing that mattered to them was each other. Ranma's need for air seemed unnecessary as he ignored it to remain bound with his princess. The both of them chose to ignore the world to explore each other.

They remained that way for some time before their moment eventually came to an end.

The princess and knight took a long glance at each other. The princess was the first to break it sticking close to him. The red knight responded by moving his arms to tighten them around her.

Ranma felt happier the past moments that ever in his life. The princess was the source of light and warmth to his life now. There was no way he would let her go now.

Absolutely no way.

--

Ranma suddenly woke up to a stand, breathing hard.

"(What the hell?)" Ranma looked around to find himself in Ryouga's tent. He rubbed his forehead in an attempt to clear his head. "(What kind of messed up dream was that?)" Ranma quietly wondered.

Ranma felt a shiver run down his spine as he remembered the last bit of his dream. It was incredibly vivid. If he didn't know any better, he would've said it really had happened.

That princess was the spiting image of that bastard Ryouga. No, it really _was_ Ryouga in his cursed form. Ranma paled as much as his face looked disgusted. But then he found another frightening problem; he didn't really _feel_ disgusted, which made him feel disgust at himself for not feeling disgusted.

Ranma still didn't believe how real that dream felt. He quietly sat in the dark tent for some moments, his head empty of any thoughts. His hand raised itself to touch his lips with the tip of his fingers.

Ranma felt his face irritatedly heat up like a teakettle. He turned his head to find Ryouga sleeping soundly next to him without a care in the world. Feeling uncomfortable, he quickly escaped the tent to cool his head off.

The cool night breeze made him feel slightly better. Ranma walked over to a bush and dropped down his pants. He proceeded to urinate, exhaling in relief.

"(But, man...)" Ranma listened to the sound of his pouring urine. It helped him relax. "(That Majinken thingie was pretty cool. Wonder if it's possible...)" Ranma tried to remember how he pulled it off in his dream. Unfortunately, Ranma wasn't much of a swordsman; he only barely knew how to handle a sword, let alone create a technique from something he saw in a dream.

Ranma's train of thought inconveniently bounced him back to that dreadful dream. That was no mere dream; it was a nightmare of the worst kind. Though, he did look kind of cool back there, but that was besides the point! The point was that it was really wrong and shouldn't have happened. Ranma had the feeling that that dream would haunt him for the rest of his life.

"(Eh, forget it...)" he told himself. It was probably the hunger affecting him. Ranma pulled his pants back on and walked back to Ryouga's tent. Without even thinking about it, he stopped himself before going in, frowning. Ranma couldn't do it; something about it made him feel incredibly uneasy. There was no way he could sleep in there, at least not this night.

Ranma groaned, moving away from the tent. He looked at the trees for a decent spot before remembering a very important fact. Ryouga's stove was useless at the moment and they were a bit low on water. Moreover, Shampoo was still around.

Ranma wondered if her people eat falcons for dinner. He shuddered at the thought.

Looking at the ground, he groaned once more at his new bed.

---

"Are we there yet?" Lime asked in boredom as he walked. He picked his ear with a pinkie whilst yawning and scratching his butt with his other hand. Morning came way too soon when there was duty to be done. The trip sounded new and exciting at first, but it didn't turn out to be that great. It was kind of boring, actually.

The Musk guard ahead of him returned a bewildered look at Lime's question. "We're not quite there yet." He looked at the map in his hands. "It looks like it's going to take us one more day to reach the birdmen's village."

Lime looked like he was about to cry. Why did prince Herb have to send him on this trip? He much preferred to spend his time at home, where he could play around with his new Joketsuzoku friends. Lime's thoughts stood still. They were prisoners! But what difference did it make? Lime shrugged.

Lime wondered how Mint was doing on his end. That guy took his work a bit too seriously. Maybe he was actually enjoying it for all he knew.

Lime chuckled and walked on.

---

"Are we there yet?" Mint sulked in annoyance. They had been walking for hours and there was still no sign of the village.

The leading guard looked back at him in mild puzzlement. "We're still too far away. We may reach the village tomorrow by noon."

What he had said bewildered Mint. It was not exactly what the young Musk was expecting to hear.

"Tomorrow?!" Mint frowned. That was totally flabbergasting as it contradicted what the Joketsuzoku girls had told him. "Are you sure about that? The prisoners told me it took them about ten minutes to get here."

"Impossible." It was the guard's turn to look flabbergasted, bringing out his map. "There is absolutely no way for that to happen!" He showed Mint the map to explain. "Distance aside, the available roads make the usage of vehicles nigh impossible. Unless they flew here, there is no way to make it in such a short time."

Mint looked at the map in astonishment. Their story and the facts did not add up; they were either lying or something fishy was going on.

"Weird..." Mint muttered.

"I'm afraid you've been had, sir."

Mint frowned. Once he got back home, he would make them give him a proper explanation.

Mint trudged. He was a long ways away from returning home.

---

"Are we there yet?" Ranma complained in his hunger. He could hear his growling stomach complain in agreement. He was so hungry, he was sure he could eat a horse, or two. Okay, maybe three horses. He was that hungry.

Nevertheless, no matter how hungry he was, Ranma would be hard pressed for any pity or compassion from Ryouga.

"Would you shut the hell up?!" Ryouga growled. Every time that stupid wanker Ranma opened his mouth, he had to resist the urge to pull out his own hair in frustration. "For the tenth time, no! Just shut up and walk!"

Ranma looked somewhat surprised that Ryouga had actually bothered to count. It was not like Ranma could help it, though; he was too hungry. The last thing he ate was a pack of Pocky, which he stole—no, _borrowed_—from Ryouga. That was hardly a meal.

"We will probably be there in a few hours," Shampoo revealed as she walked ahead of them without bothering to turn back.

Shampoo's words were something of a bittersweet revelation. On one hand, Ranma was about to eat something in a few hours; on the other, he needed to wait a few hours to eat something. It was a test of patience; something Ranma lacked.

"I'm so hungry..." Ranma looked at some rodents waltzing by the trees. "Those rats are looking awfully delicious right now," he muttered, remembering his days as a falcon.

"What was that?" Ryouga asked in confusion, thinking his ears were playing tricks on him.

"Uh, I said some delicious ramen would be great right now," Ranma quickly changed.

"Hmm..." Ryouga looked at him suspiciously for a few moments before dismissing it. 'Maybe I'm getting too hungry myself...'

Ranma trudged on whilst forcibly suppressing his hunger. About an hour later, he found some slight satisfaction in annoying Ryouga by forcing him to travel amidst his relentless complaints. That was hardly a distraction from his growling stomach, but it proved to be entertaining nonetheless. Besides, it was payback for the disturbing dream he had yesterday. Ranma cursed mentally as it returned to his thoughts. It was best he lock up that memory within the darkest depths of his brain and leave it there forgotten.

But on the subject of payback, Ranma still needed to figure something out regarding Ryouga's evil deeds in exploiting his curse. That bastard still dropped hints about his falcon curse around Shampoo every now and then. He was having fun way too much; no one had fun at the expense of Saotome Ranma. The price was going to be grand; too grand. He just need to figure out how much _too grand_ was...

For the life of him, Ranma still had no idea for the weird sense of déjà vu he experienced whenever he thought about the subject...

A sudden gentle breeze brushed against Ranma's nose, feeding it the welcoming smell of freshly cooked food. Ranma screeched to a sudden halt. His primal instincts finally took over as he sniffed about.

Ryouga noticed something was wrong and turned back. He twisted his eye borrows in mild confusion as Ranma cocked his nose around like some sort of trained police dog. "(What the _hell_ are you doing this time, Saotome?)"

Ranma ignored Ryouga and continued to try and figure out where the smell was coming from. "(There!)" Ranma exclaimed, and jumped into a sudden sprint.

"(Hey! Where do you think you're-)" Ryouga cut his own question short and ran after him.

Ranma couldn't care less who was running after him. All he cared about is moving ahead. He ran around the trees with much speed that would make a football player jealous. He ultimately came to a clearing, made a sudden stop, and looked around like an enraged berserker.

"(Food... Food...)" Ranma muttered. "(Where's the food?!)"

Ranma's brain lacked any kind of rationale at the moment. It was a mere pawn that his stomach commanded.

"Stop! Thief!"

"Hmm?!" Ranma turned towards the yelling. Two running figures immediately grasped his attention; or rather what was one of them carrying. It looked like a bowl of some kind. It was huge; the man seemed struggling by carrying it. It was amazing he was even running. However, the only thing that mattered was that it was probably full of goodies.

Whilst they were approaching him, Ranma didn't have the patience to wait for them and ran towards the pair.

The Chinese man made the mistake of looking back at his pursuer. As he looked ahead again, he was surprised to find Ranma swiftly grabbing the large bowl away from his grasp.

"I'll take that, bud!" Ranma proceeded to kick him away from his sight before he could react.

Now that he was out of the picture, Ranma had the chance to examine the bowl in his hands. It smelled even better this close to him! Curious, he opened the lid to discover its contents. It looked like it was a soup of some sort. Not that it mattered much what exactly it was; Ranma was starving and it looked delicious.

"Bottoms up!" Ranma raised the blow to gulp the contents down.

"Lad! Wait!"

Ranma paused for a moment. Someone was asking him to stop. Should Ranma stop or ignore him and wolf down the food? After three seconds of thinking, he figured no one was capable of taking his food away anyway.

Lowering the bowl again, Ranma found that the other man had finally caught up to him. A weird middle-aged man; possibly older than his pop.

"What do you want, old man?" Ranma held the bowl protectively. "I ain't giving this back," he stated boldly.

The Chinese man looked a bit worried and out of breath. "A young lad like yourself needn't eat that."

"Oh, yeah? Why not?" Ranma looked suspicious. This guy better not try pulling his leg.

"That is no ordinary bowl of soup," the man explained. "It is cooked with my family's secret ingredient, the Dragon's Whisker, following a recipe passed down for generations."

"The Dragon's what?" Ranma looked confused. What did that have to do with anything? So it was some sort of secret recipe, so what? That seemed more like another reason to try it out. Though, Ranma was intrigued. The old man may be on to something here. "That still doesn't answer my question."

"Yes, well..." he seemed to look for a way to put it. "This dish is usually served for older men as a sort of medicine."

"Medicine?" Ranma urged for more details.

"I suppose you could say it is used to fulfil a certain ambition shared amongst men."

"Really?" Ranma widened his eyes. He found that interesting. "You mean if I eat this mine would get... bigger?"

The Chinese man raised his eyebrows. "Bigger? Odd choice of a word, but I guess that is one way to put it, yes."

"That settles it then!" Ranma grabbed the spoon in the bowl and started to wolf everything in it down at blinding speed.

The middle-aged man looked shocked. Even after his warning, the lad still went and ate it. Ranma was already finished before he could even protest.

"Ah," Ranma exhaled. "That was good."

"Oh, dear..."

Ranma looked down at himself. "Northing's happening yet, pops. I don't feel different." He figured it took some time for it to kick in.

"Oh, my..." the man looked worried. "What have you done? This is a problem."

"(Saotome! You _idiot_!)"

Ranma casually looked behind him to find Ryouga running towards him in his usual blind rage, followed closely by Shampoo.

"(Don't just run off on your own, you moron!)" Ryouga yelled another insult.

Ranma didn't care much about what Ryouga thought. Ranma ate everything in the bowl first. No more was left for pretty face! That being the fact, Ranma simply responded with a happy smirk on his face.

When Ranma was finally in punching range, Ryouga prepared a fist to let out his frustration on his favourite punching bag, only to stop himself midway.

Ryouga looked directly at Ranma's face, frowning. "(Is it just me, or did your hair get longer?)"

It was Ranma's turn to frown. "Huh?" Ranma was confused. Though, some parts of his face and some spots around his neck did feel mysteriously ticklish... Ranma tried to pull back his ponytail to check his rival's suspicions, only to have something black blur and slap Ryouga in the face.

"Umph!"

"(What the heck?)" Ranma looked at his ponytail in astonishment. It seemed to have gotten longer than he was tall. When did it have the time to grow that long?

"(Watch where you're swinging that thing!)" Ryouga yelled angrily.

"What's going- Ermph!" Ranma didn't have the chance to ask before a lump of heavy hair blinded his vision and landed in his mouth.

Ranma spat out the hair and tried to brush it over his head. He attempted to ask once again, but he felt his hair shove down at him faster than he could blink. Ranma ran around like a blind bat as he screamed like a scared little boy.

Ryouga boggled as Ranma ran in circles with a mountain of hair that kept growing on top of his head. Ryouga had never seen something like that before; he was unsure how to react, but decided to settle by pointing and laughing.

"(Hahaha! Look at that!)" Ryouga laughed. There was no reason to be worried. It was only Ranma, and he deserved every bit of misfortune he got. It was easier to laugh at him than worry about him anyway.

"(Ryouga!)" Ranma growled, grabbing Ryouga by the collar. "(This is _not_ funny! Do something!)"

Ryouga stopped to scowl at Ranma's face, or at least tried to. The only thing Ryouga managed to see was hair. He was a bit amazed Ranma managed to know where to grasp, much less find him.

"(Hmph. Why should I help you?)" Ryouga looked away, uncaring.

"(Oh, come _on_! Don't be such a dick!)" Ranma shoved him away and went to Shampoo. "Shampoo, you do something, too!"

"(That's a tree, Saotome.)" Ryouga flung some earwax off his pinkie.

"(Oh.)" Ranma turned around. "(Where's Shampoo?)"

Ryouga was quick in finding Shampoo. She was standing with some Chinese man, chatting their cares away profusely. It seemed that the two knew each other. Ryouga hated to interrupt their fun for Ranma's sake, but the problem was likely to extend to him somehow. That idiot Ranma was already hindering their progress.

With a decision, Ryouga finally walked over to Shampoo and hailed her. "Hey, Shampoo!"

The two of them looked his way. That worked well enough.

"Any idea what the hell is going on with him?" Ryouga asked, pointing behind him with his thumb. Ranma looked about to drown in his own hair not far away behind the lost boy. "It's starting to get out of hand."

"I think he ate the Dragon's Whisker," Shampoo replied in amazement. It was the first time she had actually seen it in action. She didn't think it would work that well.

"The what?" Ryouga frowned.

"The Dragon's Whisker is our family's secret recipe," the Chinese man steped in to explain. "It is supposed to grow hair on bald men. I tried to warn him, but... your friend seemed to eat a bit too much of it regardless of my warnings. If nothing is done, he will simply run out of hair."

Ryouga scowled further, turning around. "_Saotome_! You _bloody idiot_! Can't you think with your _brain_ for a moment?!"

Ranma suddenly burst out of his hair. "Hey! You didn't tell me nothing of the sort!" He would have went there to give him a piece of his mind, but Ranma was literally tangled up at the moment. "Somebody, get me outta here!"

"So, anyway to fix it?" Ryouga asked, ignoring Ranma. They needed to find a solution, even if the thought of a bald Ranma was absolutely hilarious.

"There is one possible way. Please follow me to my house." The Chinese man promptly led the way.

"(Come on, Saotome. We're going.)" Ryouga went back to Ranma.

"(Just a moment.)" Ranma struggled around his hair. "(Right behind ya.)"

"(Sure you are.)" Ryouga rummaged through the massive hairball for a few seconds until finding one of Ranma's legs. He proceeded to drag Ranma from his ankle.

Fortunately, they weren't forced into a long walk; the house was only about three minutes away. Ranma certainly made it feel like an eternity, though; and not just to himself. Ryouga had some trouble walking with all the hair trying to tie itself around his legs. It was incredibly annoying attempting to extricate himself every few seconds.

Now that the small house was visible, Ryouga followed the Chinese man and Shampoo inside, only to feel Ranma get stuck half way in. Ryouga pulled with some force, much to Ranma's disdain.

"(Hey! Watch it!)" Ranma yelled. "(That actually hurts!)"

"(Shut it.)" Ryouga made a sudden forceful pull.

"(YOW!!!)" Ranma cried out as a whole lot of hair got pulled out of their roots. The hairless spot almost immediately got patched up with hair again, though.

Ignoring Ranma, Ryouga turned back to the Chinese man, finding him rummaging through some cupboards. "So now what?"

"We use this," he said, turning back to foreigner with a strand of some sort of a thick string between his fingers.

"What is it?" Ryouga asked, puzzled.

"It's the Dragon's Whisker," Shampoo explained. "If you tie it to his hair, it should stop growing."

Ryouga took the Dragon's Whisker and examined it closely. It didn't feel or look special at all; it looked like any other string. "Hmm..."

"I'd hate to interrupt the chitchat, guys, but can you actually do it _now_?" Ranma complained.

Ryouga rolled his eyes and picked a strand of Ranma's hair at random. He tied the Dragon's Whisker to his hair, and...

"It stopped!" Ranma exclaimed. He sighed in relief for a moment before extricating himself from his hair. Ranma had some trouble standing with all the weight on his head.

Ryouga decided to end Ranma's joyous occasion for a bit and pulled the Dragon's Whisker out again.

"(Ryouga!)" Ranma panicked, his hair rapidly growing again. "(What the hell are you doing?!)"

Ryouga snapped a pair of scissors in one hand, readying the Dragon's Whisker in another. "(Time for a haircut, Saotome,)" he explained.

Ryouga waved his arms around, and before anyone could blink, Ranma's hair was back to its original length, sans the abnormal growth.

"(That was quick,)" Ranma muttered. He moved his neck around, enjoying the weightlessness of his head for a second. Ranma pulled forward his ponytail to check I Ryouga remembered to keep that part, only to find something else. "A pigtail?"

Ryouga shrugged. "I figured a pigtail would be less likely to get loose by accident."

Ranma registered the explanation for a second and tucked the pigtail back. "Suppose I could use the new look anyway." There was still something Ranma wanted to ask, though. "Where'd you learn to cut hair like that?"

"(That's none of your business!)" Ryouga looked away, annoyed, much to Ranma's confusion.

'Now, what's pretty face hiding?' Ranma wondered with a smirk. Before he could shoot another question, Ryouga beat him to a question of his own.

"What the hell were you thinking eating that stuff anyway, you idiot?" Ryouga glowered.

Ranma frowned. It looked like Ryouga wasn't about to drop it any time soon. "Hey, I was hungry!" Ranma threw the first excuse he could think of.

"Hungry?! Didn't you hear his warnings?!" Ryouga started yelling. If there was one thing Ranma was good at, it was making Ryouga angry.

"His 'warnings' were pretty ambiguous!" Ranma yelled back. "How the hell was I supposed to know he was talking about my hair?"

That point begged for an obvious question.

Ryouga looked mildly puzzled. "Then what _did_ you think he meant?"

"Uh..." That shut Ranma up. He'd be damned if he told Ryouga the truth. Ranma looked around to make a quick escape. The only exit was the door they came in and it was blocked by a massive amount of his hair. Ranma needed a distraction.

A wooden object was stuck amongst the hair, catching Ranma's eye. It seemed to be a spoon. Getting an idea, he resisted the temptation to smirk. That spoon would do more than enough.

Ranma warily backed himself towards the door. "Yer mummy's got an outie!!" he exclaimed. It was a classical children's insult, but it seemed to do the trick.

Ryouga growled in rage. That bastard Saotome prefered to throw insults instead of taking him seriously. He even had the balls to insult Ryouga's mother while he was at it. He was going to _kill_ him.

Forgotten in the background, Shampoo sighed pensively as the boys were about to start fighting again. She wished her husband's friend would stop provoking him all the time; they would probably have reached the village by now if they didn't constantly fight every few minutes. Though, Shampoo had to admit, her husband was kind of cute when he was angry.

"(Saotome! You rotten son of a- Omph!!)"

Shampoo blinked as Ranma willy-nilly stuck a spoon into Ryouga's mouth. That was totally unexpected, and it seemed to work in calming Ryouga down; at least for the current moment.

Ryouga stood with a frown, flabbergasted. The idea of pulling out the spoon only registered to him moments later, and now he was holding it and staring at it intently. Something didn't feel right about this spoon...

Did Ranma think this cheap stunt was enough to throw Ryouga off? He was wrong; dead wrong. Just as Ryouga felt the anger returning to him, he searched the darkest depths of his mind to spit an eloquent insult on Ranma's face.

Strangely enough, the spoon—amongst other things—seemed to disappear behind a wall of darkness.

"What the hell is going on?!" Ryouga cried out. He couldn't see! Ryouga instinctively let go of the spoon and brushed away whatever that was blocking his vision. He was glad to find out that his eyesight was still working. The lump of hair that he found himself grasping, on the other hand, didn't make him all too happy. It didn't take a genius to put two together to figure out what had happened.

"(_Sao...to...me_...)" Ryouga spat Ranma's name like an insult through his grit teeth. His eyes appeared to be a weapon of mass destruction that would destroy anything in its path. Unfortunately, Ranma was too busy running away to succumb to their wrath. "(_Saotome Ranma, prepare to die_!!)" Ryouga pursued his mortal enemy.

Ranma laughed his head off as he ran. "(Come and get me if ya can, Ryouga!)" he provoked. Ranma took a peek behind him to find Ryouga charging at him like a raging bull. Ryouga looked absolutely _pissed_; it was just the way Ranma wanted it. That would teach him to mess with the great Saotome Ranma. "(Nice hairdo, Ryouga! I love it!)" Ranma sniggered at Ryouga's growing hair. It seemed to make him angrier, if that was even possible.

Ranma's danger sense suddenly kicked in; Ranma instinctively leapt to his left prior to finding a boulder slightly bigger than himself plant itself to the ground he was standing on. That was a close one.

"(Stand still and die, Saotome!!)" Ryouga threw another boulder Ranma's way.

Ranma saw it coming this time, though. He evaded it without much effort. "(Is that all ya got, pretty face?)" Ranma taunted, sticking out his tongue. "(I could avoid your hits in my sleep with my arms tied behind my back!)"

Ryouga quickly abandoned his boulder plan in favour of planting his fist into Ranma's face. He resumed his pursuit, and Ranma naturally started running away again. That coward; he fled again instead of facing him like a real man! Ryouga expected no less from that spineless moron.

For once, Ranma tilted his head away from provoking Ryouga to look at where he was going, as the edge of his eye warned of something peculiar to come. Eyes widened, he suddenly skidded to a stop to stare off into a cliff. "(Oh, damn...)" It was pretty deep; deep enough to be quite unpleasant to fall into. Ranma turned back, finding Ryouga closing in on him. "(Man, that's not good.)" Ranma tried to think of a way out of this predicament. There was not much time for thinking, though. Ryouga was 10 seconds away from striking range. "(Now, now, Ryouga.)" Ranma put up his hands defensively. "(Hold on just a second here!)"

Ryouga was deaf to Ranma's words. If Ranma thought he could talk his way out of this now, he'd better think again.

Ryouga leapt with his arm arched backwards, fully intending on letting Ranma eat his fist.

Ranma reacted naturally, and jumped backwards, avoiding the punch. Fortunately, he landed just at the edge. Another close call from Ryouga. All he had to do now was jump over pretty face before he could recover and he would be in the safe zone.

However, Ryouga attack wasn't finished yet. His punch was devastating; it tore the solid ground to pieces.

Ranma looked solemn as what was once solid earth slip off below. "(Ah, shit!)" he cursed, attempting to regain his balance. Just when it seemed too late and the rocky platform he was on was falling, Ranma managed to jump back and grab onto the edge of the cliff with one hand.

Ranma looked down below to find the platform get smashed to pieces. Now he knew why climbers advised not to look down.

"(That was...)" Perhaps Ranma's grip was too strong; the spot he was holding on to tore, and he was once again falling down. Ranma looked nervously at the rock he was now holding in his hand, and then back at the peak of the cliff at seemed to ascend. "(...cloooooooooooooooo-)" Ranma finally quieted down after feeling a sharp pain show itself on the back of his head.

Back at the top, Ryouga carefully began to tread towards the edge. He looked down below with a scowl, finding Ranma lying unconscious at the bottom. "(Hmph. Serves him right,)" he commented.

---

Prince Herb ate his breakfast peacefully. It was a fabulous morning; a rare occasion of peace and quiet. The scouts had been sent an hour before his wakening, and his day had been progressively getting better. If he had known that sending half of the guards on missions would result in such a calm, he would have done so long before. There was a lack of noise; no pranks were being pulled by his fellow servants on each other for once.

One prank came to mind was when Lime decided it would be funny to put baby crocodiles into his peers' beverages. It had caused quite an uproar. Herb initially paid the tomfoolery no heed, but when he found one of those baby crocodiles swimming in his cup, he decided to give Lime a piece of his mind. Ever since then, food storage had always been heavily guarded against Lime sabotage.

Herb glanced at his guest whilst sipping his tea. He smiled as she ate with a happy look on her face. He had informed his mentors and advisers that he planned to get the 'day off'. Of course, such a thing was regarded as totally unacceptable, but they simply couldn't refuse the prince once he frowned at their disapproval.

Now, Prince Herb had an entire to day to spend leisurely with his guest. Just like peaceful mornings, having a guest was also a rare occasion; and he diligently treasured pleasant rare occasions. Herb needed to figure out how to spend this lovely day. There were tens of things that he wanted to do, but when strictly thinking about it, nothing really came to mind. It was weird.

"Hmm..." Herb worked his brain. "Plum, how is your food?" he asked her. It was a fabulous idea; why not ask Plum what she wanted to do? It would certainly be more effective than wasting all day with his indecisiveness.

"It's great, Herb!" she replied cheerfully. "I love it!" Plum really meant it. She wished her father could taste this. Herb was really nice, letting her eat such delicious food. Whilst he looked scary at first, he was wonderful once she got to know him! Strangely enough, everyone seemed to be scared of him. How could anyone not notice how sweet he was? Plum was only here for a short while and she seemed to know him better than anyone else. She really enjoyed every moment she spent with Herb. Totally unlike those two numbskulls...

"That is good." Herb decided to ask the decisive question. "Plum, what would you like to do today?"

"Hmm..." Plum thought about it for a moment. "This place is pretty big; how about taking a walk around?"

Yes, showing Plum around his royal home was probably one of the most obvious things he should do. It was a fascinating idea; why didn't Herb think of that before? Perhaps it was amidst the other mysterious tens of ideas he had locked in his mind. He was sure his ideas would come in time, and a walk with Plum just might help him with that.

"Very well," Herb agreed. "We shall do that once we are finished." He returned to his tea.

"Okay!"

It was a fabulous morning indeed.

---

Ranma walked with an annoying pain at the back of his head. He wasn't too proud of himself at the moment. He would have been if it weren't for that blunder at the cliff. It was a pretty damn good comeback for all Ryouga's deeds of mischief, but it was all soiled because of one small minor misstep.

Feeling scornful, Ranma tried to glare at him through the corners of his eyes. It was just him and Ryouga now. After Ryouga tried to get the two of them back up, he had somehow gotten the two lost. Without Shampoo, they had no idea where the village was. They were not even sure where they were. The village was supposed to be close before they got lost, but now they couldn't find a trace of it. It seemed that Ryouga somehow got them significantly farther than it should've been possible. They weren't even in a forest anymore; it looked like a flipping desert.

On the bright side, there was an unspoken upside for them both in not having Shampoo around...

It was unfortunate that Ryouga restored his hair back to normal, though; it would have made excellent material to annoy him. Ranma had no choice but to go back to the standard insults.

"(Damn, pretty face. How in the world did you get us here?)" Ranma looked around in awe.

"(Shut up, Saotome!)" Ryouga replied angrily. He still wasn't happy about Ranma's prior stunt. "(Just be glad that I didn't just leave you there!)"

"(I think I would have liked it better if you _did_ leave me there!)" Ranma retorted. "(I mean, look at this place!)" He waved his arms around. "(What the hell, man?)"

Ryouga scowled. "(If you have the energy to complain, then walk and shut up!)"

Ranma started to get annoyed at Ryouga's reasoning. Ryouga didn't even seem to care what Ranma thought; he kept walking without regard to him. Of course, Ranma had better stick close, unless he got stuck here by himself. They had better get out of here before that really happened.

Ranma walked over behind Ryouga, grabbing a canteen hanging from Ryouga's pack. Ryouga was quick to notice this, and faced him with an annoyed look on his face.

"(I have an idea, Ryouga,)" he said, opening the canteen. "(I'll fly around and see if there's a town or anything nearby. You stay put right here until I get back.)"

"(Like hell you will, Saotome!)" Ryouga clamoured. "(That's the last bit of water we have! The nearest place with clean water could be days away!)"

"(Oh, don't be such a baby. I'll just use a few drops; no biggie.)" Ranma raised the canteen, but quickly got grabbed and lowered by Ryouga.

"(I said no!)" Ryouga pulled the canteen, but Ranma refused to let it go and pulled back.

"(It's only a few small friggin' drops, Ryouga!)" Ranma started shouting, his irritation getting the best of him.

"(No! Even a tiny drop matters!)" Ryouga shouted back.

"(Dammit, princess! Give me water!)" Ranma pulled furiously.

"(Like hell!)" Ryouga pulled back.

The two martial artists continued to wrestle over the canteen. A minute passed with no obvious victor, leaving Ranma to contemplate a plan. Ryouga wouldn't be defeated using brute force alone. Ranma would probably lose if this kept going.

Pulling it forcefully, Ranma utilised the momentum to push himself ahead towards his opponent. Taken aback, Ryouga took a few steps backwards in accordance to regain his balance. Ranma wouldn't let him do that, though. He planted a foot right behind Ryouga's, tripping him over. However, Ranma found that Ryouga's grip wasn't to be taken lightly, as he was pulled down with the larger boy. Unfortunately, the canteen got shoved onto Ryouga's face.

"(Argh!)" Ryouga drowned as the canteen's contents blurred her vision, triggering her curse in the process. The water was quick to stop coming out as there wasn't much in there to begin with. Ryouga lay there for a moment looking mildly annoyed.

Ranma was staring. He remained on top of her, unmoving. Ranma had blundered once again and now was in uncomfortable position. Her face was hairs away from his own. He could feel her warm breath on his face; her moving chest brushing against his, and her dark orbs staring into his.

"(Saotome. Get off,)" she suddenly said, bringing Ranma back to his senses.

As Ranma moved away, he felt his fingers tangle into her torn shirt, accidentally pulling it along with him.

"(Ah!") Ryouga yelped, pulling her shirt back. It tore even further and she ended

up missing her left sleeve. Ryouga desperately tried to cover herself up with the remains with limited success. "(You idiot!)" she yelled, her face red from embarrassment. "(Look what you did!)"

Ranma averted his eyes haphazardly, in an attempt to not stare. Despite what Ryouga had said about looking at his blunder, he had a feeling that she really didn't really mean that. Nevertheless, Ranma couldn't help but look at Ryouga. He was surprised to see that she didn't look angry anymore; she was more like...depressed.

Ryouga cast her eyes downwards away from Ranma. She could almost feel his gaze on her. "(Dammit, Saotome...)" she stuttered. Gritting her teeth, Ryouga continued. "(Why? Why do you keep pulling this crap on me?!)" Ryouga looked at him in the eye. "(What did I ever do to you?!)"

Ranma didn't know how to react. Ryouga looked genuinely upset. Whilst she was always upset at him for some reason, this felt entirely different. She really looked distressed. "(I... It was an accident! I didn't mean it.)" Ranma defended himself.

"(Why did you do _this_?!)" Ryouga asked again.

"(I said it was an accident!)" Ranma stressed.

"(Heh. Accident...)" Ryouga looked away. "(Do you hate me that much, Saotome?)"

"(What?)" Ranma looked confused. She asked him if he hated her? If anything, it should have been the other way around, but that seemed like a moot point at the moment. "(I don't hate you, Ryouga.)" It was the truth. Ranma might have been annoyed or angry at Ryouga's stunts, but he didn't really hate the guy despite all that. Ranma wasn't really the type to hold those kind of serious grudges all over silly things.

Ryouga gave him a humourless chuckle. "(Really, Saotome? Back in Japan you ignored me, and when I find you here, you treat me like shit. You expect me to believe that?)"

What Ryouga just said made Ranma remember an important piece of detail. Before coming to China, Ranma had an agreement with Ryouga to meet up; though, Ryouga was late. Did he actually make it? His old man didn't leave him a choice; he was forced to take the trip to China when he wanted to wait even further.

"(I...)"

"(Why do you think I came all the way to China, Saotome?)" Ryouga looked at him. "(How do you think I feel?!)"

Ranma didn't understand the question. Why _did_ Ryouga come to China? Was it for him? Did she really care that much about him?

"(Am I just a joke to you?! How do you feel about me, Saotome?)"

That was the decisive question. Ranma didn't know how to respond. "(I... I'm...)"

"(Answer me! How do you _feel_ about _me_?)" she shot at him again.

Ranma cleared his throat to answer. He had no idea how he would say it. The moment she asked him that question, he could feel the answer within himself. It wasn't that he couldn't form the answer; he lacked the courage to admit it to himself, to say it to her. This was his last chance; if he ignored it now, there would never be another.

Ranma looked at her gazing at him through her reddening eyes, clutching the leftovers of her shirt and awaiting his answer. He opened his mouth to give it to her, but shut it again before uttering the first word. Ranma mentally cursed himself, and tried again. "(Ryouga, the truth is... Well, I was at first indifferent about you, I suppose. But later you kinda grew on me.)" Ranma observed her carefully. She was listening to him intently; good. "(I don't hate you, Ryouga. In fact, you just made me realise something. Despite the way I was acting, all this time I was in truth—)" Ranma cut himself short. "(All this time, my feelings for you actually grew, and I can safely say that I...)" He was going to say it! Ranma looked genuinely relieved as he spoke. The decisive word was at hand! He would say it! "(...really l-)"

But then ninjas! Thousands of them! They just came out of nowhere!

"(What the hell is going on?!)" Ranma looked around him, astonished. They were surrounded by ninjas from all directions. A most haphazard thing has happened. It was almost as if God himself didn't want Ranma to say it. "(Where the hell did these guys come from?!)"

Ranma heard Ryouga shriek behind him. He found her getting dragged by a horde of twenty or so ninjas.

"(Let go of me, you creeps!!)" Ryouga yelled. She struggled within their clutches, but for every ninja she threw, five more showed up. They were relentless. Desperate, she reached out her hand towards Ranma. "(Help!)"

"(Damn ninjas! Let her go!)" Ranma demanded. He jostled at them with full force. Ranma beat a dozen of them out of his way before eleven ninjas decided to lunge at him from all directions. Ranma was quick to react and jumped into the air, where ten other ninjas lunged to greet him. Ranma was about to teach them the hard way not to challenge the Saotome school in aerial combat. Kicking a ninja in the face, he grappled another to swing him around like a rag doll and slapping the ninjas around him away.

As Ranma descended to the ground, he kicked a ninja on the head and out of his landing spot. Just then, a ninja successfully grappled him from behind, but Ranma quickly backhanded him on the face and threw him off onto another ninja in front of him all within two seconds.

However, those two seconds were more than enough time for two more ninjas to grapple him from his sides. Before Ranma could get rid of them, five more ninjas seized him, followed by tens more.

"(Argh!)" Ranma yelled in frustration. "(Hands off, scumbags! Ya all have a nasty breath!)"

The ninjas stopped moving for a second to look at each other, and sniffing sounds were heard, but they quickly resumed hindering him.

Ranma glanced at where Ryouga was, finding her way farther than she should be. They moved pretty damned quickly.

"(Ranma!)" Ryouga cried as they forcibly dragged her away, still holding out her hand. "(Help me!)"

"(Damned ninjas! Let go!!)" Ranma struggled around his captors to no avail. "(Ryouga!)" Ranma reached out to her, yelling her name. He only saw her get further away from his hand. "(Noooooooooooooooooo-)"

"(Shut up!)" A harsh punch to the face interrupted his shout.

---

Ranma fell down harshly on a wooden floor, groaning in pain. He opened his eyes to see that his vision was blurry. He blinked rapidly and eventually found himself looking at an unknown ceiling. He tried to get up, but something was hindering him. He looked ahead and found out that he had been sitting on a chair an fell. Weird.

"Would you stop _yelling_?!"

Ranma looked back up to see Ryouga's angry face looking down at him. "Huh?" Ranma was confused; what was going on? And why did his head hurt? Wanting answers, Ranma groggily whirled himself off the fallen chair and got back on his feet. Looking around, it looked like he was in a small restaurant of some sort, and everybody was staring at his direction. Ranma didn't have much time to think about it; his head was starting to spin. He quickly got the chair back up and sat down.

"What happened?" Ranma asked, rubbing his forehead in irritation. Sitting across of him was Ryouga, with Shampoo right next to him. Ryouga looked unhappy like usual, and Shampoo seemed indifferent.

"You fell off a cliff. That's what happened," Ryouga answered.

"A cliff?" Ranma recalled the event for a moment. "Oh, yeah. I fell and hit my head." That would explain Ranma's headache. That would also mean that the following events had all been a dream, which seemed reasonable. 'Jeez. Another crazy dream.' Ranma frowned at this. The scary thing was that this one was kind of realistic. Well, except for the ninjas.

Ranma absent-mindedly remembered the little chat he had with dream Ryouga. "Ugh." Feeling sick, he hid his face behind his palm. Ranma didn't believe he was going to say that. That made him feel worse than what he got from the previous dream. The dream was too real and disturbing. He just hoped that that was the last he'd see of any more crazy dreams, because his brain's closet would run out of room soon. "Where are we?" he asked, still hiding his face.

"We're at the village," Ryouga explained. "You wouldn't wake up, so I had to carry you all the way here, idiot. I swear, Saotome, if you do something like that o_ne more time_..."

"Yeah, yeah..." Ranma didn't pay much attention to the last bit. He finally uncovered his face to look at his rival. "So why does my face hurt?"

"I just punched you." Ryouga looked at him scornfully. "Don't just scream like that all of a sudden."

"No." Ranma frowned. "You punched me here." He pointed at his left cheek, and switched to the right one. "It hurts here."

"Oh." Ryouga seemed to realise what Ranma had meant. "Well, I tried to wake you up earlier..."

Ranma didn't like that answer very much. He blinked when he noticed something unusual. Ryouga had tilted his head a little bit, and a long ponytail attached to his head swung a little. "Whoa! Dude, what's with the hair?"

Ryouga looked at him in surprise for a second, but it quickly turned into rage. "What's with the hair?!" He slapped the table in fury, earning the attention of the attendants once more. "Whose fucking fault do you think _this_ is?!" He grabbed the tied hair to show him.

"Wow. That's long," Ranma commented in surprise. The hair went past his shoulders and continued midway along his back. That would explain why there were no bangs going down Ryouga's face; he tied his hair. He wondered why he didn't notice that earlier. "If you hate it so much, why not just cut it?"

"You think I didn't try?!" Ryouga yelled. Ranma's nonchalant behaviour was pissing him off! "I can't! Every time I cut it it grows back to the same length! I'm supposed to 'wait' until it wears off!"

"Oh." Ranma figured that probably meant the same for him as well. He'd only be able to take off the Dragon's Whisker once the effects wore off.

"Is that all you have to say?! This is all your fault, Saotome!!" Ryouga glowered.

"Now! Now!" Shampoo tried to calm him down. With some effort, she successfully managed to get Ryouga back down on his seat. "Let us all just sit down and enjoy supper, all right?" she persuaded sweetly.

"Hmph."

Supper? Ranma looked down at the table to find a delicious-looking roasted duck. How that escaped his notice, he had no idea. Ranma dragged the plate closer and licked his lips in anticipation of the taste.

"Would you lot shut up? I'm trying to eat in peace!"

The group of three glanced at the stranger. He was a youth clad in a cloak, looking to be around their age; he was perhaps older by a bit, but not by much. He walked over to them with an unpleasant look on his face.

Before Ryouga could sheepishly apologise for the ruckus, Ranma decided to speak.

"Bugger off, dude. I'm eating!" Ranma stuck a duck's leg into his own mouth. It was tastier than it looked!

The stranger didn't look too happy. "You've got some fucking nerve. Say that again," he dared.

Ryouga brushed his palm over his face. Ranma was about to use his magic, which always ensued disastrous results.

Shampoo sighed inwardly, having a good idea of the outcome.

"Ya think I'm scared of you?" Ranma chewed on the duck's meat, looking the stranger over. Something unusual about him caught his attention; if Ranma didn't know any better, he'd say that the stranger tied tights around his waist... He was probably mistaken. "I'm the heir of the Saotome Musabetsu Kakutou-ryuu, the great Saotome Ranma," he proclaimed with a pointed thumb, mouth full of food.

"What did you say just now?!" The stranger promptly held Ranma by the collar. "Repeat that!"

"Huh?" Ranma asked nonchalantly, biting more off the duck. "I'm the great Saotome Ranma?"

"No, you idiot! Before that!"

Ranma frowned a bit at that. "Musabetsu Kakutou...?"

The stranger just as promptly shoved Ranma back into his chair. Leaning his hand on the table, the stranger lowered himself to Ranma's eye level. He slowly said, "Musabetsu Kakutou... Where is your master?"

"My master?" Ranma resumed eating. "You mean my pop? Hell if I know."

"That dirty old fart is your old man? Where is he?!" the stranger demanded, holding Ranma by the collar again.

"That's kinda harsh," Ranma commented. "Pop may be a fat lazy pig, but he's no old goat."

Ranma's irrelevant comments only further irritated the angry stranger. "Give me a fucking answer, dammit! Where is Happosai?"

"Happo-who?" Ranma asked in confusion. That name _did_ sound kind of familiar to him, though. Ranma just couldn't recall where he heard it before. "My pop is Saotome Genma, not some Happo-whatever."

Looking disappointed, the stranger finally let Ranma go. "Your old man might know where he is, then," the stranger concluded. "Take me to him."

Ranma almost groaned. "Look, chap. I said I ain't got no clue where he is. I haven't seen him in months. Give it a rest already." Believing his point finally sunk in, Ranma turned his attention back to his food.

"In that case, I'll make you take me to him." The stranger followed up with a punch aimed at the back of Ranma's head.

Ranma's senses kicked in; he picked up the plate and narrowly avoided getting hit. The table wasn't so lucky and got shattered into splinters.

Ryouga and Shampoo reacted quickly to the stranger's movements. They promptly held their plates and drinks.

Ryouga was about to yell something, but decided against it. He would rather have Ranma deal with his own problems by himself. It didn't look like something Ryouga would enjoy getting dragged into.

Shampoo didn't really care much and watched the commotion with mild interest.

"Hey, what's the big idea?!" Ranma carefully distanced himself from the stranger.

"I don't take no for an answer," the stranger simply replied, resuming his assault with another punch.

Ranma saw it coming, ducking under it and leaping away onto another table.

The battle was briefly interrupted as a chef suddenly burst out of the back room."Hey! No fighting in my restaurant!"

The stranger immediately threw a dagger towards the chef's direction.

"Eep!" The chef fell back just as the dagger passed right above his head.

Ranma looked annoyed, but still pulled the second leg off the duck. "Jeez. What does a guy need to do to eat in peace?" He munched on it.

The stranger had no intention of letting Ranma off so easily and charged at him. Ranma jumped off the table backwards as the stranger proceeded to destroy his second table. The stranger didn't waste time and quickly lunged at Ranma with a shower of punches and kicks.

Ranma avoided contact with each punch and kick with precision. Not in fear of pain, but in fear of losing his duck. 'Damn. This guy is actually pretty good,' Ranma thought. Each strike the stranger threw his way was progressively getting closer to hit its mark.

Eventually, Ranma found a punch heading straight to his face. There was no avoiding that one, so Ranma brought an arm up to block, and followed up with a sweep kick. The stranger jumped back, giving Ranma more than enough time to retreat. With a massive leap backwards, Ranma landed on relatively safe ground.

Ranma had better think of something. There was no way he'd keep fending him off whilst holding a roasted duck. With a plan in mind, Ranma promptly wolfed down the duck.

"(You seem to be getting better at least, Saotome.)"

Ranma looked under him to find himself standing on Ryouga's head. It was funny how he didn't notice that, or maybe he did but didn't think about it. After all, his duck was at stake. "(Oh, hey, Ryouga,)" Ranma said between bites. "(Can you believe this guy? He attacked me for no good reason. He might actually be worse than you.)"

"(Could you get off of my head now?!)" Ryouga yelled.

"Play time's over, fuckface!" the stranger exclaimed.

The trio paid him their attention. The stranger smirked smugly at them as he held up what looked like a glass of water.

"What's that clown doing now?" Ryouga asked, the weight on his head forgotten.

Ranma shrugged and ate as he watched, while Shampoo simply sipped her juice.

The stranger splashed himself with the water, and subsequently, all hell broke loose.

The trio widened their eyes at the display before them. What was once a young man was now a... They didn't know how to describe it. A beast? A monster? A freak of nature?

"Ryouga," Ranma was the first to speak. "Pinch me."

Ryouga was happy to help with that, and raised a hand to pinch Ranma's butt.

"Ow!" Ranma knew now that he wasn't dreaming. He couldn't tell the difference lately. At any rate, Ranma examined the creature with his eyes once more to make sure that his eyes told him the truth.

The thing stood at least four metres tall, with the face of the stranger that appeared more...effeminate, the arms of a bear, the legs of a bull, and what looked like the torso of some sort of humanoid bird; as it was covered in golden feathers. It had massive golden wings on its back, and also a countless amount of tentacles from its back.

The stranger laughed in a higher pitched voice as he took a step forward, forcefully shaking the establishment.

"Dude!" Ranma exclaimed in shock. "Is that some kind of Jusenkyo curse?! What the hell is that?!"

The stranger sniggered at the three, and decided to humour him. "This? I believe it was called..." he paused for a moment to recall the exact wording. "Spring of Drowned Tentacle Monster Getting Attacked by a Bear whilst Riding a Bull and Raping a Harpy." It sounded ridiculous, even to him; but it was an old tragedy and all of that didn't matter to him. The stranger decided to end the chitchat and get on with it. He took another step forward and prepared to attack.

Still atop Ryouga's head, Ranma nervously presented whatever left of his dish. "Duck?"

"Bon appétite!" the stranger yelled, sending hundreds of tentacles towards the trio.

--------------------------------------

To be continued...

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Authors' Notes:

**Dark Master Schmidt:** I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!!!!

Yeah, so it's been, what? Nearly three years since my last update? Wow. You guys must have thought I was dead or something. But here I am; alive and, um, well, writing again.

It's funny how some joked about me updating in 2007, a year after the previous chapter. I've actually only started writing this chapter on October 2007. Of course, I stopped multiple times. It wasn't until I got some motivation and constant pestering recently that I've finished this chapter. Hopefully, this doesn't happen again.

The content I originally planned for this chapter would have probably made it twice as long. Seeing how long it has become, I've decided to put whatever else I planned for later. Is that groaning I hear? I suppose I can't blame anyone seeing how long 'later' can actually be, especially when I'm involved.

Next up, Ranma and Herb cross paths again! Here's to hoping for a prompt future update!

Well, fuck. I have other stories to take care of now.

- 20/04/2009

**Nuvares:** HE LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVESSSSS!!!!!!

Hey everyone, it's been a good while since you've last heard from me. All I can say is sorry and offer an extremely busy life as an excuse. On the plus side Schmidt has poked me enough to get started writing some again and I'm currently working on my first chapter since 2006.

Here's to hoping I get it done. And to all of those who want to ping me at yahoo and tell me to get working. It'll help me get done.

- 21/04/2009


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